Painful memories
by TooMuchCaffine
Summary: When misery falls on the team, each of them reflects on the past, present, and future. Somewhat angsty. Multi-chapter mini epic.
1. Chapter 1

AN: My fic takes place in summer. I'm an Oregonian, and I;m soooo sick of winter!!! Record rain, record snow (500 of normal in the mountains), and its just too cold. I could add more chapters to this, or leave it a one-shot. Reader's choice!

Enjoy y'all!

* * *

It was mid-August and one of the hottest summers on record. The temperatures had been in the triple digits all week, and the lows were in the nineties. This all may have been bearable, if the humidity wasn't unreasonably high. To make matters worse, the AC in the bullpen, which was notoriously flighty, had given out. Rolling blackouts made fans virtually useless, and due to a recent water conservation Bill passed, they had to use as little water as possible to avoid being fined.

The heat did seem to ease up during long nights. Windows were thrown open in a feeble attempt to tempt in an illusive, virtually non-existent breeze. "Oh! Oh! Wind!" Tony yelled as he bolted to stick his head out the over-sized window. "Oh yeah, this is better than sex!"

"Um, might I say, eew!" Abby said with a scrunched up nose. Tonight, she felt useless. The team was working cold cases with no real leads, and therefor nothing for her to process. Instead, she left her cool basement crypt to visit the team. She was sharing one half of Ziva's desk chair, while the two played computer chess when Gibbs wasn't looking. "Checkmate!" she screamed, declaring victory over her adversary.

All heads in the bullpen turned to the two. "I mean," she whispered, "_Checkmate..._"

"Come on, Tony! It isn't that warm. The humidity makes it more bearable, and I am actually quite comfortable." Ziva told him while she started a new game with Abby

Tony turned and glared at her, "You grew up in a freaking desert, Ziva! I'm from Long Island! I'm used to seeing one heat wave a summer, and snow all winter! All those in favor of excommunicating the Israeli, say aye?"

"I am not Catholic, Tony. Therefor I cannot be kicked out of the Catholic Church. Also, your complaints are not helping the situation! Check." Ziva snapped, "Look at McGee, he is still at work and just as hot as you are."

"One, never compare my hotness to McGoogle's. Second, McGee is not working. When Gibbs went out for coffee five minutes ago, Abby helped him paint his eyelids. He has a recording of typing sounds and a screen saver going."

"Its true." Abby piped in, "Damn, 4-1. How did you get so good at this?"

"Israelis invented it Abby." Tony informed her

"No, the Arabs did." came a voice from above. Director Sheppard stood on the catwalk looking out over the bullpen. "Abby, what have I told you about the dress code?" She asked

"But, spaghetti straps aren't that bad! Besides, its like, 85 in here! Come to think of it, I think your skirt is a little racy _Director_." Jen glanced at Abby's black spaghetti strapped blouse, then at her own skirt, handing just above her knee. It was tasteful enough.

Jen rolled her eyes and made her way down the stairs. _My skirt isn't that bad. Jethro didn't seem to mind_. "I come bearing candles. Half of DC has lost power, and ours could go at any time. Also, there are thunderstorms on the way. We have a backup generator, but it will only last us six hours. Shut down any unnecessary electronics. We have surge protectors on the wires, but we don't want to loose millions worth of computers. Abby, is your lab shut down?"

"Yep, the babies are sleeping." Unfortunately, chess tournament would have to resume another day. She shut down all the computers in the bullpen. Just as the last one shut off, the power went. Eerie red lights cast a dim glow across the room. Ziva and Tony began to light candles on their respective desks.

"Well, we're drilled." Ziva sighed, repeatedly striking her head against the window

"How so, Officer David? And its _screwed_." Tony teased

"For one thing, all the locks on the building are electronic. It is used as an anti-terrorism tool. No one can get in or out until the power is restored." Ziva groaned, sinking down into her chair. Tony noticed a rivulet of moisture trickling down from her forehead and down to her clavicles. Her face was flushed and she looked a little woozy

"I think you're getting a little overheated there, Ziva." he told her, reaching to feel her brow. She jerked awayfrom him as though he were going to strike her.

"I am fine, Tony. Just a little tired, and sore. Do you think the showers still work?" he asked, hoping to throw him off topic

"No, those are for decontamination anyway. Probie!"

McGee bolted up, falling out of his chair. A quick glance around the room told him what he had feared all week. The power was out, and they were stuck.

"Probie, got any Aspirin?" Tony asked, overpowering Ziva, holding her by her wrist, in order to check her temperature, "You're burning up. Have you been drinking enough?" his voice was laced with concern for her. Still, she would not admit to weakness.

"Uh, no. Do you want me to go get Ducky?" McGee asked, frantically searching his desk

"Yeah, I think so."

"Tony, I'm fine. I just need a shower, and a good night's sleep. You can back off now!" she warned. He had her cornered in her cubicle. He forced her to remain in her seat, and offered her a bottle of water he kept in a mini-fridge under his desk, which she promptly refused.

"Did someone call?" came the Scotsman's familiar warm voice, "Unfortunately, I cannot do any work right now. The bodies need to be kept chilled to prevent further decay, and right now the temperature is quickly rising down there. It reminds me of when I was in Ghana-"

"Ducky!" Jen snapped, "Reveries later, check Ziva out now."

"Yes, of course. My guess is that heat exhaustion is to blame," he trailed off, crouching next to her chair, "I hear that you have a bit of a fever. Here, take your temperature dear."

The thermometer read 101.2 in her mouth. He offered her a couple of Tylenol to help her fever down. "My best guess is that you simply are a little overheated. Have you been doing any sort of, shall we say, vigorous activity?" he asked with a gleam of mischief in his eyes

"No, Ducky. I'm fine, really!" she insisted, refusing the offered medication

"Do you have any other symptoms, apart from the fever?" he asked, checking her blood pressure.

"No. I have no symptoms! Perhaps your thermometer is off because it is 101.2 degrees in here? However it honestly does not feel that warm to me, if anything it is cool. They will not stop whining over it though!"

"So it feels cool in here to you? Odd." he continued, pressing on her upturned palms, "You are somewhat dehydrated. Not too much a surprise, considering the circumstances. How many trips to the head have you taken today?"

"Ducky, what does that have to do with anything? Do you really have nothing better to do with your time than to interrogate me about my bodily functions."

"She's been bitchy all day." Tony offered, "She's also made a lot of trips to the head today. She's not PMSing though, that's next week."

"You keep track?!" Ziva hissed at him

"Only for my own personal safety, Ziva." he defended himself, though he could feel here eyes boring holes through his head

"Number one, or number two?" Ducky asked

"One or two what?" Ziva asked, completely dumbfounded. Ducky whispered something in her ear, and she rolled her eyes, "Number one."

Ziva's desk had drawn quite a bit of attention. With no electronics, cases, or escape, people flocked around the cubicle to watch the drama unfold. "People! Back to your desks, now!" a voice commanded, "It took me ten minutes to get coffee, and ten to get up here taking the stairs. Any of you want to tell me what's going on?" Gibbs inquired of the remaining staff.

"Ziva's not feeling good." Abby informed him

"Abby, I'm fine." Ziva snapped. While she knew they were concerned, her body was no one's business but her own.

Gibbs sat next to Ducky on the floor beside her chair. He spoke softly to her, "Hey, everything okay?"

"Yes, Gibbs. I just-"

Ziva tackled Ducky out of the way, and clung to the small wastebasket near her desk as if life depended on it. Tony brushed her hair back while she violently wretched into the can. Across the room, McGee mixed some Alka-Seltzer in a bottle of water and handed it to Tony. Once she began to sit up, Tony helped her take a few sips and rinse her mouth out. Her face was pale, and her breathing was erratic. A moment later, the sips of water were purged as well.

Once her stomach began to settle, she leaned back into her partner's arms. Her friends were all looking over her, concerned and cautious. Tony tried to move his arms around her middle to steady her, but the moment he touched her abdomen, she lashed out. She cursed in a foreign tongue, and slapped his hand away. Tony moved back, and gave her some space. She was panting, and tears were threatening to form in her eyes.

"Abigail, go fetch a damp rag. Cool water, if such a thing can be found. Ziva, lie down." he told her gently. He removed his overshirt, and folded it up to make a pillow for her. "Just lie still on your side, dear. I think you're through the worst of it."

"Your're not pregnant, are you?" Tony asked, earning himself a well deserved slap upside the head

"No, Tony! Is everything in your mind linked to sex?!" she snapped as she eased herself onto her left side

"Ziva, is it alright if I check your abdomen?" Ducky asked once she had settled down a little

"Check for what?"

"Well, that I do not know yet, but I intend to find out. You may spend the rest of the evening on route to Bethesda if you aren't careful. Just try to relax your muscles for me," he whispered as he slipped his hand under her blouse. Her skin was hot and damp with sweat, and her muscles reluctantly relaxed under his hands. He gently pressed all around her small belly. Every time he hit a sore spot, though her eyes betrayed nothing, he felt her body tense. "I do not mean to cause you discomfort, but this whole thing has me a little worried about you, dear."

Abby had returned with the rag, which Gibbs used to rub the back of her neck. The cool moisture was a welcome recess from the hot summer night. She could feel two clammy hands over her own. She looked over to see Tony holding her hand in both of his own. She smiled a little, and closed her eyes. She tightened her grip on his fingers as Ducky's hands moved down her abdomen. Finally, Ducky struck the last nerve. One tiny region that Ducky barely grazed with his fingertips, set her side on fire. She couldn't help but to cry out in pain. A cry that chilled her friends to their bones. Ducky immediately moved his hands away from her as she thrashed around under his grasp. "Jethro, I barely touched her!"

Gibbs moved his hand to Ziva's face, "Hey, you're not 'fine.' What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she whispered weakly, trying to regain her composure. Her eyes were freely flowing with salty tears, and each breath was sharp and short.

"Ziva, have you ever had appendicitis before?" Ducky asked her, reaching to further examine her tender abdomen. She slapped his hand away, and pulled out her SIG

"Ducky, please. Never do that again." she breathed

Ducky raised his hands in defense, "Easy there, dear. I won't touch your stomach, I promise. If you answer my questions."

She lowered her weapon, which Gibbs then relieved her of and handed off to McGee. "Okay. This... appendicitis, you called it. What is it?"

"An inflamed appendix. The symptoms of said condition are similar to the ones you are experiencing. Fever, nausea, intense abdominal pain, particularly on the lower right side...have you ever had symptoms like this before? When you were a small child perhaps?"

"No, never anything like this." She panted, finally admitting to her weakness.

"Well then, that I suspect is the culprit. We need to get you to the hospital my dear. Timothy, would you kindly call for some assistance?" Ducky inquired

McGee darting quickly to his desk and picked up the phone. Ziva tried to sit up, but Gibbs held her down. "No, you just rest here for a moment." he soothed. His mind flashed back twenty years...

"_Daddy!" a four year old Kelly came into his and Shannon's bedroom in tears. "My tummy hurts, Daddy!"_

_He opened his arms to the whimpering child, "Come here, babe." Beneath her auburn bangs, her brow was hot to the touch. "Shannon, wake up sweetheart."_

_His bride finally stirred from her deep sleep, "What's wrong, Jethro?"_

"_Something's wrong with Kelly, can you call the doctor?"_

"_What?! What's wrong baby?"_

"_My tummy..." she moaned, snuggling into her father's chest. "Please mommy, make it stop!"_

Kelly's appendix had ruptured before it was removed. The doctors told him that he may never see his daughter again. He remembered sitting next to her bed, reading her _Goodnight Moon_, the book they planned to finish later that night. He nearly lost one child to this ailment, he wouldn't risk another.

"Gibbs?" Ziva asked, "Are you alright?"

He turned to her, "Yeah, I'm fine. You will be too, I promise."

She slowly nodded, "How can I get out of here with the electronic locks?"

As if on cue, the lights came back on, and a chorus of sighs of relief filled the bullpen. Not only could they leave now, but the air conditioner roared back to life. McGee sat on the floor next to the others. "EMTs should be here in about five minutes, Boss."

Abby joined him, patting Ziva's hand in reassurance. "Don't worry about this whole thing. I had my appendix removed when I was 10. And it. Was. _ Awesome_!"

"How is this 'awesome' in any definition of the word, Abby?"

"Well, once you get there, they get ya all tucked in, in one of those dorky gowns. Then, they put an IV in your arm. Don't worry, it doesn't really hurt, kinda itches though. Then, you fall asleep, but you don't remember falling asleep. You just wake up in bed, and you stay in the hospital and rest for like, a few days. Then, you get to go home and get pampered by family and friends because you can't lift things, do anything strenuous, or go to school, or in your case work, for six weeks!" Abby told her, "You don't feel a thing, but you get a 'get out of work free card' after. The best part is, no solid food the first few days! Basically, all you can eat is Jello, ice cream, and smoothies! Cool huh?"

"Yes, cool." Ziva groaned, "When does the 'you don't feel a thing' part start?"

"Well, apparently pretty soon." Tony told her. The EMTs had arrived and ushered everyone away for a moment so they could take care of her. "Dibs on riding in the ambulance!"

* * *

AN: Reviews are like my caffeine, they make me happy and write faster! 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Sorry for the slow update, another one or two chapters to go! Thanks to all of you who reviewed the first chapter. I'm hugging you all in my mind, right now! (If the rest of you want a mind hug too, review please!)

* * *

Shortly after their arrival at Bethesda, Tony was firmly escorted away to the waiting room, while Ziva was taken into the ER. The rest of the team was already there, which could only mean one thing. Gibbs drove. 

On that mental note, Tony smiled. Gibbs' driving abilities could be described only as sadomasochism. It disturbed him a little that Gibbs had beaten the ambulance to the hospital. That either meant that the paramedics needed to take lessons from Ziva, or that Gibbs' driving had, if at all possible, been _more_ reckless than normal. Ziva had once remarked that, "_Only in America will a pepperoni pizza arrive faster than an ambulance. Are you proud of this!?"_

For nearly three hours, the team sat in total silence. Nothing needed to be said, because each knew what the other was thinking. They may never see their friend again, and it was their fault. Every so often, a disturbing little thought would nag at their hearts. _Why didn't you notice she was in pain? Did you even once ask her if she was okay? How could you let your friend...daughter...sister, die? _Haunted by their thoughts, ridden with guilt, and sick with worry, they sat patiently.

"Are you all here for Miss David?" a young man is scrubs asked

The whole group only nodded solemnly

"Overall, the surgery went very well. Right now she's stable, resting in post-op. Her appendix had started to tear open, increasing the chance of sepsis that is present with any surgery. It isn't real likely that it will be a problem She's on some pretty bad-ass antibiotics to help prevent infection. We'll keep a close eye on her to make sure there are no surprises, but she's probably going to make a full recovery. You can go in and visit her, one or two at a time. Just keep it quiet and brief." he told them, double checking her charts, "I'm surprised that it progressed to that level though. Normally before it gets to the point where its about to rupture, patients are in so much pain, they're already in the hospital."

Abby squealed in delight at the news and ran in the general direction where the doctor had come from. She was surprisingly agile in those giant boots. McGee ran after her, calling out softly, "Abby! This is a hospital, remember?"

Tony chuckled, "I guess Abs is up first."

The doctor interrupted, "Actually, she's going the wrong way. She's headed down to the nurses' station. Post-op is down the west corridor. It loops around, so they'll reach her eventually. They just have to go around half the floor to get there. Maybe by then, she'll have tired herself out. She's very enthusiastic."

"Ziva's like a sister to Abby. They don't always get along, but they do care for one another." Jen told him

"Well, it will probably take them a few minutes to reach her room. If the rest of you want to visit, she's down the hall here, third door on the right."

"Thank you, doctor." Ducky said, shaking the man's hand

They went in two at a time, Gibbs decided the order to avoid argument. No one dared argue back.

* * *

Tony and Ducky were the first to visit. With the exception of a few wires, an IV, and an oxygen mask, she appeared to be sleeping peacefully. Her face was a little pale, and her eyes seemed sunken in with exhaustion. The room was a little warmer than the waiting room, and the lights were dim. Tony took a seat beside her. He sat quietly for a moment, trying to find something to tell her, "You know, I had my appendix out when I was a kid. My dad thought I was faking it. Sent me to school with a bottle of Aspirin in my pocket, and told me to tough it out. It wasn't like we couldn't afford a doctor. He just didn't care. Maria, our maid, thought that I was just upset over my mom dying the week before. That was about the worst possible day for that to happen on too. The Presidential Fitness Testing in PE. Mile run, pacer, push ups, chin ups, you name it. I finally passed out after a quarter mile. My teacher was a former Navy SEAL, he thought I was faking it. Three hours of surgery later, I was good as new. The next week consisted of movie marathons, ice cream, and guilt ridden family members waiting on me hand and foot."

"Anthony, that's perfectly dreadful!" Ducky told him

"I knew she was hiding something, but its hard to hide. I tried to tough it out at school, but its harder than you think. Every time you take a step you wince a little, so you try not to move much, you bite your cheek, I just wish I noticed it sooner. I should have checked up on her sooner. Who knows how long she was suffering?"

"Even if you had asked her if she was unwell, she would have denied such allegations. You and I both know that Ziva puts up her shields, even when she isn't suffering. If you hadn't noticed at all, she may have died. You helped to save her life Anthony."

"Think she'll be mad at me?"

"Heavens no. Well, perhaps at first, but that will probably be frustration at the situation directed at whoever happens to be around. You've already done enough by saving her life, but if you still feel as if you owe her more, she might appreciate a little help after she is released from the hospital. As you said, ice cream and movies are quite comforting."

"I think she'd like that."

* * *

Finally, McGee and Abby completed their circuit around the hospital, and came to a stop outside the Post-Op ward. The waiting room where they had stood ten minutes ago was fifty feet away. "We went all that way for nothing?" Abby panted, "Why didn't you tell me, Timmy?" she punched his arm lightly in frustration

"Don't ask me! I was following you!" he defended

"Well, you should know better."

Tony and Ducky left the room, just as quietly as they had entered. According to Gibbs' designated order, Abby and McGee were next, if they had arrived at the room yet.

"Oh, Tim! She looks so helpless!" Abby whimpered, taking a seat next to the bed

"Abby, she's gonna be fine, the doctor said she might wake up within the hour." McGee told her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Well, I sort of splurged at the gift shop. I have," she muttered to her friend as she rummaged through her bag, "Fuzzy socks! Much more comfortable and fashionable than those little hospital booties." she fitted the rainbow colored socks over Ziva's feet. Though it was unbearably hot outside, the floors of the hospital were cold all year round. "We also have, drumroll please...Timmy, drumroll?"

McGee patted his lap for the desired effect

"Stuffed animals! I know we're both a little old for plushies, but they were too cute!"

"Abby, how many did you get?" Tim asked after a half-dozen critters had been placed all around Ziva's bed.

"I don't know, twenty? They're little ones though, and some of them I just had to get. Like this one, doesn't it remind you of Gibbs?" she asked him, holding up a plush gray pit bull with bright blue puppy-dog eyes, sharply contrasting with jagged teeth and a spiked collar.

"Yeah, that's creepy."

"That's why I had to get it! Stuffed animals have so much personality." she turned to Ziva again, "This way, if you get lonely, or anything, you still have these little guys to keep you company. But don't worry about that, you won't be alone. We'll be right here to take care of you, because I can't watch another friend get put in the ground, not again." as her eyes began to tear up, McGee came up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her.

"Don't worry Abs, she knows you care. She'll be just fine. Look at me." she turned to face him, "She's not going to die, okay? Say it."

"Ziva's not going to die. Well, everyone dies eventually, but because of _this_ she's not going to die. She's gonna die a little old lady, who had a heart attack trying to run seven miles at four in the morning. Ziva's gonna die doing what she loves, not in a hospital."

"That's my girl."

* * *

As a result of the SecNav's incessant nagging, Jen had been called back to the office. She had told the others to give Ziva her regards, and to let her know that she would visit in the morning. Gibbs was the last one to visit that evening. He was grateful for the fact that the others had already left. He felt the need to be alone now.

He saw Ziva lying helpless in her bed, surrounded by a militia of stuffed animals. The only audible sound was the soft beeping, keeping pace with her heart. He knew she would in all likelihood be fine, but he couldn't help but feel concern for her. He remembered Kelly, when she was in the hospital.

* * *

"_Daddy, I don't like Jello! Maddy said they make it out of horsey feet!" the toddler protested, as he tried to feed her _

"_Come on Pumpkin, you used to love orange Jello. 'Jello jiggles, watch it wiggle,'" he wiggled the spoon to make the gelatin dance for her amusement_

"_No! I'm not eating horse feet!" she told him firmly, pouting as she covered her mouth with her blankets_

_Shannon came to sit on the edge of her daughter's hospital bed with her husband, "How about ice cream? And don't worry, there's no horse feet in ice cream or Jello." she offered Kelly a bowl of rocky road, her favorite_

"_Are you positive?" Kelly eyed the bowl skeptically_

"_Would mommy lie to you?" Gibbs asked sincerely_

"_No, but you might!" she giggled, hiding beneath the blankets for protection from what she knew was coming._

"_What!?" he pushed the blankets off her and dove for her sides. He gently tickled her underarms as she squirmed under his fingertips, "Mommy's good, but Daddy's a liar?" he teased as she began to laugh hysterically._

"_Jethro, be careful with her!" Shannon cautioned_

"_I know, I just have to teach her a lesson," he told her as he raised Kelly's gown to blow a raspberry on her stomach_

"_No, no, no!" Kelly squealed, laughing so hard she could barely breathe. She rolled around a little, then let out a high pitched scream, "No! Daddy stop, it hurts!" she cried_

_He stopped immediately and helped ease her under the covers, "Shannon, go get her doctor, now!"_

"_I told you to be careful, Jethro! What did you do to her!?" Shannon screamed at him_

"_I don't know what's wrong, go get her damn doctor!" he commanded. She stormed out of the room in search of help. He knelt down next to his daughter's bed, "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to hurt you." he whispered, taking her little hand in his own._

"_I know Daddy. I love you." she whimpered. She leaned over and nuzzled his nose, "Eskimo kiss!"_

* * *

Gibbs sat on the edge of Ziva's bed, blinking back tears "You're safe now, okay? Don't scare me like that. Just think, the doctors might let you go home as early as tomorrow afternoon. Then, you'll get to be spoiled rotten for the next couple weeks." he whispered to her, taking her hands in his own, "And no one is gonna hurt you, you here me? I'll make sure you get better soon."

He felt her hand begin to tighten around his own. She groaned a little, and looked around the room, "Gibbs? What happened? Where am I, and how did I get here? Oh, my head..."

"You've just had surgery to have your appendix out. And it looks like you're probably still woozy from the anesthesia. Just sit tight, I'll go find your doctor."

He had to wait outside for a few minutes, to allow the doctor a chance to examine her. Once he left, he told Gibbs, "She's still a little sore, no surprise there. In a few hours, we'll take her into a recovery room, where she'll stay until she's released. I gave her something to ease the pain, so that should take effect in a few minutes. It'll probably put her to sleep, too."

"Thank you, doctor."

Ziva was laying back on the mountain of plushies, fiddling with the controls on her bed, adjusting the angle. Once she was content with the position, she lazily began beat her pillow.

"How are you feeling?" Gibbs asked her. He took her pillow from her. The feeble attempts she made at making her bedding more comfortable were fruitless. In spite of his own best efforts, the belligerent pillow remained as lumpy and limp as it was before. Finally, he gave up and returned it to her.

"I feel...fine." she told him, staring off at some point far above her head. She began to hum and rearrange the stuffed animals in her bed, sorting them by color and size.

"Are you by any chance on morphine, Ziva?" Gibbs asked with concern. This sort of behavior was a bit out of character for her, and it worried him.

"Nope, codeine and whatever else they've knocked me up with." she replied. He didn't bother to correct her. In all likelihood, she wouldn't even remember this conservation. Her abuse of the English language was becoming less frequent, and the mistakes she did make were minor errors.

The drugs soon began to take their toll on her weary body. She began to feel drowsy, and began to settle down. "How long do you think it will be before they let me go home?" she yawned

"Not until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest." he told her, "Get some sleep, Ziva. You'll feel a lot better in the morning, I promise. And Jen promised she'd come see you as soon as the SecNav quits riding her ass."

"Jealous, Gibbs?" she teased. Everyone knew about the history that Gibbs had with the Director, but no one dared bring up the subject.

He didn't take the bait, "Good night, Officer David!" He very lightly slapped the back of her head. She scowled at him before she closed her eyes.

He waited at her bedside until he was sure that she was sound asleep. Otherwise he never would have gotten away with what he did next. He knelt down, and gently kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams, Ziva."

* * *

AN: Again, I have very little medical knowledge. Flames are not welcome, consructive criticism is. Reviews will make me write faster...I know, I'm evil! : 


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry for the super slow update. Things have been nuts. I've been to the hospital twice in the past six weeks, and on Friday I have to go back for a procedure, so the next update might not be for a while, depending on how fast I bounce back. I've missed over a hundred classes, all honors, so I'm swamped with homework. The Hebrew in this chapter might not be totally accurate, I haven't had lessons since I was 10, so lay off.

**Hebrew terms:**  
**Be'emet**- really **Chaval-** too bad **Sheket**- quiet** Hakol b'seder**- all is well, its okay

* * *

As promised, Jen came to the hospital a little after dawn to visit her friend. The SecNav had held court in MTAC for several hours due to a supposed bomb threat in the Naval Yard. The entire fiasco had been a the result of a mail clerk's stupidity. At one o'clock, the bomb squad arrived and detonated a package containing a steak, air shipped from a coroner in Kansas to Ducky, which apparently the bomb detecting canines at security found appealing. Rather than read the sticker which read "perishable food", the mail clerk called the bomb squad.

Visiting hours didn't start for another few hours, but she was in no mood to argue with the staff. She hadn't slept in nearly thirty-six hours, but she vowed she wouldn't rest until she saw Ziva. 

She smiled as she approached the desk. A woman spun around in her chair to face her, and blanched. "Hello, Nurse Washington. How are you? When did you transfer from trauma?" she remembered this woman all too well. The same woman who had the nerve to tell her she couldn't see Gibbs after the explosion.

"Last month. Who were you having dinner with this time, Ariel Sharon?" the nurse taunted

"No." Jen replied simply, "I'm here to visit a friend. Ziva David?"

The nurse stood up, "Follow me. She's one of mine. Doc's worried her incision's gettin' infected. Her fever went up in the night, and she keeps getting chills."

"Is she going to be alright?" Jen asked with concern, peering through the window into Ziva's room

"We'll see. At the moment, all we can do is let the antibiotics do their thing, and hope for the best." she stopped when they came to Ziva's room, "She's stubborn though. I caught her tryin' to get up around eleven or so. Said she had to use the bathroom! I came in, found her crawlin' on the floor, tryin' to nudge her IV stand along with her."

Jen chuckled, "That sounds like something she would be inclined to do. You didn't have to restrain her or anything, did you?"

"It was temptin'. She refused to take any pain meds we gave her. She said they make her feel woozy and weak. Poor thing was obviously in a lot of pain, and weak as a kitten. I finally managed to talk her into lettin' me help her into bed, and off the floor. She always so difficult?"

"Only always."

"I'll be at the desk if you need anythin'."

She entered the room walking as softly as possible. Ziva was still very weak, so the odds of Jen's footsteps waking her were on par with the sky falling. She smiled at the pile of cards with encouraging clichés, stuffed animals, and flowers left by her companions. At first, no one trusted, accepted, or appreciated Ziva's presence. But now, she was an irreplaceable member of their family.

Well, Abby referred to it as a family. No one else dared call it that. In Abby's NCIS family, Gibbs and the Director were the mom and dad; looking out for and teaching the others, reprimanding them if necessary. Duck would take the place of either a beloved uncle, or a grandfather; never without a word of advice to offer. Tony was the eldest child; spoiled, obnoxious, and an antagonist, but with a heart. McGee would fall in as the younger brother; teased, humiliated, but loved and respected quietly. Ziva was the middle child; seemingly without a place of her own, but respected by those closest to her. And Abby herself was the baby of the family; daddy's favorite, spoiled, and knows how to get things her way. The only problem with this entire "family" was the fact that if NCIS were a family, it would likely be an incestuous one, with siblings that hardly behaved as such. And no one really wanted to think about that. Perhaps that was why Gibbs enforced rule 12?

Jen took a seat beside Ziva's bed. Ziva was covered to her neck in blankets, under which the tubes and wires disappeared. Her arm was left outside the pile of blankets, leaving her IV exposed. The last time Jen has seen her friend so helpless was in Cairo. _Was that really five years ago?_

* * *

"_Jen! We're working with Mossad on this one. Hope you don't have anything to hide!" _

_Jen sighed. She had decided she hated this country. Everyone was either a tourist or didn't speak English, the streets were crowded, and the air was hotter than hell and dry. "Wonderful. When are they arriving, Director Morrow?"_

"_Now." he hung up the phone. She looked around the crowded train station. How anyone could find someone in this place was a mystery. Was Mossad going to find her, or was she expected to find them?_

_She sat down on a vacant bench and reviewed the folder with pictures of her targets. Four Iranian arms dealers with links to Al-Queda, and supposedly holding two NCIS agents for ransom. She heard a woman's voice behind her. "If I were you, I would not expose those in public. You never know who may be looking over your shoulder."_

_Jen jumped out of her seat, and her skin and aimed her SIG at the stranger. She was met with a Jericho between her eyes. "Please. You would be dead before you could touch the trigger. Do not play games with me." the woman scoffed_

"_Ziva! What have I told you about playing nicely with the Americans?" a voice called from behind them. "Both of you are on the same side. So I suggest you both lower your weapons,Ziva?"_

_The woman, apparently named Ziva, lowered her weapon after rolling her eyes. "Michel! You know I am not good at working with women!" _

"_Be'emet? Chaval! Sheket, Ziva. Miss Shepard, I presume?" the elder man asked kindly. He seemed kind enough. His hair was nearly white, but still mostly intact, and his eyes were dark and warm, "I am Officer Michel Bashan, and this charming young lady is Ziva David."_

"_Pleasure. Shall we?" Jen asked gesturing to the now boarding train to Gaza, where their targets had just boarded._

_The three walked together to the back of the train. Jen didn't know exactly why, but the whole situation made her feel uncomfortable. "I hope you have more than that one weapon, Jen. You may need it." Ziva cautioned_

"_Why? What are you carrying?"_

"_357, Jericho, 44, an this." she replied holding up a large hunting knife, "You may borrow it. Never go anywhere without a knife. They never run out of bullets."_

"_I suppose that's good advice. Aren't you a little young for Mossad though?" Jen skeptically took the offered knife. The handle was engraved with a six pointed star._

"_I will be eighteen in a few days, so technically, yes. That is why Michal won't let me out of his sight. In a way I have always been Mossad though. It is in my blood. My father, by brother, my aunt, all Mossad." she explained "This is an initiation of sorts I suppose. I prefer this to what my brother referred to as the initiation."_

"_And what would that be?"_

"_Getting shot."_

_As she spoke, she tackled her American comrade. A hailstorm of bullets showered down on the three as they ducked for cover under a vacant row of seats. Officer Bashan was barking something at the men in Arabic, trying to get a few shots in as he did so. He then ducked down and joined the girls. "One of them is down, Your Agents are not with them, they lied to you. Are either of you hurt?"_

_Jen mumbled, "I don't think so, you?" she leaned over the seat and fired a few rounds_

_She got no reply. Michal leaned over his partner, "Ziva? Are you alright? Speak to me!"_

"_Got him! Jen cried, "That's three. The bullets have stopped, so I think we're okay." she was exhilarated by all the excitement. She turned around, and saw Officer Bashan applying pressure to a growing crimson circle on Ziva's belly. "Oh, my God. Are you okay? Ziva?" that bullet was meant for her, but a woman she barely knew took it for her._

"_Been better." she whispered, "Did we win?"_

_Jen knelt down, shaking, "Why did you do that? You could have been killed! You still might die! What were you thinking? Stupid!"_

_Ziva began to chuckle, but that chuckle evolved into a deep groan as she closed her eyes. She could here Michal quietly chanting, "Hakol b'seder, hokol b'seder"_

_Jen pulled out her phone to call for help, but a gleam of silver caught her eye. A muzzle aimed at her head. A sharp blast, them a dull thud. Jen nearly fainted. The barrel of Ziva's gun was mere inches from her head. "What the hell?" Jen demanded, "Are you insane?"_

_The young woman smirked at her with a look of grim satisfaction. "Turn around!"_

_A dead man lay prone on the floor, blood seeping from his forehead. A semi-automatic weapon clutched in his right hand._

_Michal stood up, clutching the wounded girl gently to his chest. "I think it would be best for us to leave, before someone comes back for them" he lowered his head and his voice, "Now, Ziva. Let's get you taken care of. Your father is not going to want to hear about this, is he? Oh well, you can stay with me until you are rested up if he decides to be difficult. Are you coming, Miss Shepard?"_

_Jen lagged behind slightly, her mind still coming to grips with the events that just transpired. She heard a weak voice call out to her, "Jen? Are you coming?"_

* * *

Jen chuckled a little at the memories. She owed Ziva a great deal of debt from that fateful day. She let her hand drift to her waist, gripping her knife. Ziva's knife.

* * *

_The little hospital room could almost be called cozy. Rather than hideous bucket seats, a plush couch sat next to her bed. Jen shifted a little, trying to make herself comfortable. She felt a little out of place. Ziva had been transferred to a little hospital in Ashkelon shortly after she woke up. Mossad insisted on the transfer for her safety. Ziva was listening to her little sister rambling. Jen couldn't understand a word, but she did notice that Ziva was weary and sore still._

"_Um, Tali? Why don't you go get us something to drink." she said, handing the teenager some money. Tali counted it, then, seemingly satisfied with the amount, left without a word_

"_Ziva are you sure you're alright? I will get you anything you need. You name it."_

_Ziva chuckled, "Relax, I do not hold grudges easily. So you're fine."_

"_I brought your knife back. It looks like you could have used more protection than me yesterday."_

"_Don't dwell on yesterday, Jen. I find it rarely is of value to me anyway."_

"_Dwelling on the past, or your knife?"_

"_Either. You may keep it. I have many more where that came from, and you really need it more than I do. Never go anywhere without a knife." Ziva smiled weakly_

_Jen muttered under her breath, "Rule nine." then slapped herself upside the head_

"_What was that?" Ziva mumbled as she began to fall asleep_

"_Oh, nothing. Get some rest. And, thank you. I will return the favor someday."_

* * *

A little moan brought Jen back to the present. "Ziva? Are you gonna wake up now?"

She leaned over her friend, feeling her brow. Her body was on fire. She reached out and repeatedly hammered down the call button. "Jen? Is that you? You've always had cold hands. You know this, yes?"

Jen managed a little smirk, taking Ziva's hand in her own. "Its just the fever, Ziva. Don't worry, help is coming. Do you remember anything?"

"Fuzzy socks...a crappy pillow...is it still hotter than hell outside? I feel cold."

"Unfortunately." Jen sighed, "You're only cold because you have such a high fever. You had appendicitis. Do you remember that?"

Ziva simply shook her head, her eyes were welling. "Jen, my side is on fire...make it stop!"

Jen ran from the room as fast as her legs could carry her. "Doctor!"


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Sorry about the slow update: Men make plans, God laughs. Thanks to all who've reviewed! I have no medical knowledge except Freshman health class and watching Scrubs.

* * *

Thunder roared across the city, which was illuminated only by the lightning accompanying the storm. All the lights in Washington were out, save for those lucky few with generators. Sirens blared, signaling the loss of balance in the city in the midst of the chaos. The hospital was bathed in an eerie red light, adding to the aura of fear in the ICU.

Jen sat quietly, fuming. She flinched at each bolt that danced across the sky, lighting up the room from the skylight above. She paced the corridor several times, trying to ease her nerves. Distraught, she moved over to the pay phone. She mentally ran down the list of people who she could call, who might answer, and who might come. She dialed the first number that came to mind, and heard the ringing of a cell phone somewhere nearby.

She jumped, feeling a clammy, calloused hand on the back of her neck, "Jethro! You scared the hell out of me! What are you doing here?"

"I was gonna ask you the same question, Jen. Who calls at 0500 on a Saturday?" he grinned, leading her over to one of the bucket seats in the waiting room. He offered her one of the two paper cups in his hands, "Coffee?"

Grateful, she gulped it down greedily. After a moment, she stopped and swallowed disdainfully, "I think that one's yours. How can you drink that crap? It could peel the paint off of a car!"

He smiled, happily switching cups with her, "Oh? What about you? Four creams, five sugars, have you even heard of diabetes, Jen?"

She met his gaze, glaring, "Are you insinuating that I need to cut back on the sugar? That I don't _need_ any more sugar?"

Gibbs raised his hands in self-defense, "Don't look at me! I bring you coffee at the crack of dawn, and not so much as a 'thank you, Jethro'?"

She reluctantly sat down, still very much on edge. They sat in silence for a moment, but it wasn't uncomfortable. They both were beyond that. Another bolt of lightning illuminated the room from the skylight overhead. A few seconds later when the loud, low roar came, she jumped.

Gibbs chuckled, "Still afraid of a little storm?"

* * *

_Jen drew the blankets around herself tightly, a pillow covering her ears. From outside the window of her lavishly decorated hotel room, the bright lighting was blinding, illuminating the Parisian summer's eve. In spite of the July heat, she felt chilled to her bones. She trembled violently under the covers, sipping tea that had long since gone cold. Nothing could warm her tonight. The memories still haunted her. Her father, the office, the gun, the bang...the blood._

_A knock at the door roused her from her thoughts. She rolled herself lazily out of bed, drawing her robe closed loosely. She opened the door a crack, and saw a face that was laced with mischief, "Room service?"_

_She glared at her partner, "I didn't order anything. Leave me alone, Jethro. Its late. Go to bed, please. We have work to do in the morning."_

_She tried to close the door, but he inserted his foot in the doorway, "Oh come on Jen, we can't sleep tonight! What day is it?"_

_Standing back reluctantly, she let him invade her room, knowing that the word 'no' was not in his vocabulary. "Its July fourteenth. Why?"_

_He stared her down, shocked, "Little miss 'Political science major' doesn't know what's happening tonight? Here? Why I came all the way over here? Come on, you're a smart girl!" he was enjoying this._

"_Jethro, your room is across the hall. Please, just go!" she whined as another bolt sent chills up her spine._

_He moved her end table from her bedside to her window, moving two chairs over with it, whistling softly as he did so. Letting the bag he brought with him fall to the floor, he looped an arm around her waist, leading her to one of the chairs, chivalrously scooting her in. "Okay, what did you do?" she sighed. He could be a gentleman if the occasion called for it, but she was skeptical_

"_Nothing! Now, one more chance. Look out that window. What do you see?" he pointed off in the distance, his chin resting on her shoulder, blowing warm breath softly in her ear, just to make her squirm_

_She gazed out over the dark City of Lights, "The Eiffel Tower. What's with the twenty questions?"  
_

"_And you can't tell me what's gonna happen right there. Eiffel Tower. Tonight. July fourteenth. In, oh," he checked his watch, "...five minutes?" he smiled, his blue steely eyes gazing down at her._

_She opened her mouth to answer, but instead she gasped. A shower of red and green sparks danced across the sky. The Tower was framed by lightning and fireworks, the crowds of thousands of people cheered from the streets below. The sight was breathtaking._

_She turned to Gibbs, who was now rummaging through the bag he brought with him. He handed her a plate, "Hey! What do you know? They started early!"_

_He piled some food on her plate and poured her some wine. She was speechless. His arm snaked its way around her waist again as he sat down beside her. A finger wormed its way onto her plate, a motion that didn't go unnoticed. She pinned his hand to her plate with her fork, "Eat off your own plate, Jethro! Didn't your mother ever teach you manners?"_

"_Well, obviously not. You never eat your mushrooms anyway. Why let 'em go to waste?" he used his own fork to steal another. She playfully slapped him, muttering something under her breath he couldn't quite make out. _

_Another clap of thunder sounded, but she remained seated still, simply enjoying the moment._

* * *

"You never did tell me why thunder scares you." Gibbs noted aloud

"It doesn't scare me," she insisted firmly, "I just prefer calmer weather. Something less dreary?"

Gibbs wasn't satisfied with her answer, but knew better than to pry. There were some things about her that would always remain an enigma to him, just as he hasn't told her everything. Not even everything she really should know. "So... do we know anything?"

She sighed, laying her head down on his shoulder, "I don't really know. They took her down to surgery a while ago. They didn't tell me why, only that they needed to find out what was causing the shock."

A man in blood stained scrubs approached them, extending a hand, "Miss Shepard? I'm Dr. Edmonds, Ziva's surgeon. You're listed as next of kin?"

Jen stood up, taking the man's hand, "Yes, please tell me what's going on! Is she going to be alright?"

Gibbs stood behind her, keeping a steady hand on her shoulder for support. She leaned heavily against him, mentally and physically exhausted.

"During the initial surgery, when her appendix was removed, a surgical sponge was accidentally left inside. When the incision was stitched up, it got closed in there, causing sepsis. Its out now, and the incision has been cleaned up. The infection could have been a lot worse, and still might be."

Gibbs was red in the face, "So she could be dying because one of your people was negligent enough to leave something inside her? How could you not notice something like that? You can't just go around losing things inside people!"

Not many things in life are as frightening as an angry Marine. Jen took a step away from him, touching his hand, "Calm down, Jethro! What's going to happen now?"

The doctor sighed, "She's just now gotten out of surgery, so she's going to sleep for probably another few hours at least. There are drainage tubes in place to help keep things from getting infected again, and her antibiotics have been increased. Look, I know the guy who did her appendectomy. Dr. Harrison? He's a good man with nearly thirty years experience. But things like this do happen. Hell, its a miracle it doesn't happen more often. The first rule of medicine is 'do no harm.' This was completely accidental, and Miss David is going to be alright."

Gibbs rubbed his temple as the doctor walked away. He moved to sit down, but Jen grabbed his hand, "Come on. There's not much good you can do sitting around, brooding. I'm taking you home."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "You're taking me home?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Jethro. You can see her when she's awake. But for now, just let her rest. The doctors will take good care of her." she smiled, leading him toward the doors

Before they reached the doors, he pulled away, "I just want to see her for a minute. Why don't you go get the car, I'll just be a moment."

She nodded, understanding. "I'll be back around in five minutes."


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Good things come to those who wait! 2 count 'em _2_ chapters in one day!! They're short, but oh well...

I might redo this chapter, its not my best...tell me what you think!

* * *

Gibbs paced outside the ICU, waiting for the nurses to leave. He had no idea what they were doing, only that they were supposedly helping. The soft beeping was the only discernible thing he could hear.

After the nurses left, one of them approached him, "Sir? Can I help you find something?"

"No, just trying to find the head." he lied, peering over the woman's shoulder and into the room behind her

"Well, that's back the way you came." the nurse told him, looking him over skeptically

"Oh? Well, thank you!" he tried to be polite, starting off in the opposite direction. After he was sure she was gone, he made a break for the room

* * *

He drew back the curtains, cursing softly. Ziva lay unconscious in the small bed, her skin noticeably pale, even in the dim red light. Wires and tubes coiled around her body, weaving in and out from under the blankets. She looked so weak and tired, lying there helplessly. Life wasn't fair.

He crept quietly to her side. Reaching into his pocket, he took out a watch. Abby had given it to him for his last birthday. The USMC emblem was imprinted on the front, and inside was a picture of the team. He placed the watch in Ziva's limp hand, gently closing her hand around it. "You're not alone." he told her

"Jethro?" a voice called from the doorway

Jen stood beside him, her hand on his shoulder, "Come on. Let's go home, okay?"

* * *

Pulling into the driveway, Gibbs could see that his home was one of the many still without power. Thankfully he didn't need electricity to work on his boat. Or to drink scotch.

As he stood on the step, searching for his key, he heard a noise from within the house. He held out his hand, signaling for Jen to stay back behind him, and to stay quiet. Drawing his weapon, he tried the door. It wasn't locked.

The old house was dimly light by the early morning sunlight. Nothing was obviously out of place, but his gut told him that he wasn't alone. He turned to Jen, "I want you to go wait in the foyer. If anyone comes by, you keep them there."

Jen drew her weapon, and stood leaning against the stairwell, "Should we call metro?"

"No, not yet." he told her, making his way deeper into the house

When he reached the living room, he lowered his Sig to his side, sighing. "What the hell are you doing in my house?" he demanded, glancing around the room in disbelief

The sleepy figures seated in his living room began to stir, the intrusion waking them. Abby stood up first, clad in her funeral gown, "Sorry, Gibbs. We couldn't sleep, and you never sleep, so we figured...I don't know...sorry."

Gibbs rubbed his eyes, "Don't apologize Abby, its a sign of weakness." he walked into the room, opening the curtains to let in the light, "Jen! False alarm! Just a few trespassers."

Tony stood up and stretched, "You know you really should get a security system, boss."

Abby walked up to Gibbs, wrapping him in a tight hug, "You look like you've had a tough night. Ducky's making tea, do you want some? We also have some popcorn, Monopoly, and Waldo books."

"Abby? Who all's here?" Gibbs took a seat on the couch

"Well, Abby, me, McGoo's sleeping on the chair there, Ducky's in the kitchen, and now you and Jen." Tony supplied, "Gang's all here."

"Not all of us." Abby whimpered, clinging to Gibbs tightly

"Abby, Gibbs and I just got back from the hospital. Ziva's going to be fine." Jen calmly explained, trying to console the girl, "She just had surgery, and everything looks great."

Abby took a step back, "Surgery? Why? What happened?"

Ducky came into the room from the kitchen, balancing a teapot and a stack of cups on a tray, "Ah, Jethro! I didn't heat you come in! Anything new to report?"

Gibbs felt frustrated, but at the same time, he couldn't blame them all for congregating here. Abby finally released him from her fierce grip, and she moved to wake McGee, taking his blankets. He could see the concern in their eyes, and knew it was mirrored in his own. "Everyone sit down."

They did as they were told, quietly staring at him, "Ziva's surgeon accidentally left a sponge in her after he took out her appendix. They took it out this morning. She's fine though, I saw her just a few minutes ago."

The group remained quiet for a minute, occasionally exchanging glances. Tony finally broke the silence, "So what now?"

* * *

After tea and some brief conversation, the gathering began to settle down. Ducky left to tend to his mother and her dogs, leaving the rest of the group glued to Gibbs' furniture. Abby had fallen asleep fairly quickly, rolling off the couch and onto the floor. Gibbs picked her up over his shoulder, and let her sleep in the guest room. McGee followed her in, seeing as she was his ride home, and tucked himself in beside her.

Tony peeked in the doorway, chuckling, "So much for rule twelve, huh?"

"Is that a fact, DiNozzo?" Jen asked him in her best 'Gibbs' voice

He turned to face her, "So...I've been wondering. Was rule twelve made before, or after he dated you?"

"After." she smirked, "It was easier than admitting he made a bad move."

"Oh," Tony grinned, letting his imagination run wild, "And what bad move was that?"

"Dating her!" Gibbs said, slapping them both upside the head

She smiled, brushing against Gibbs slightly, "You knew what you were getting into the moment you asked me out. That's probably the reason for rule two as well. Never screw your partner?"

"Never screw _over_ your partner." Gibbs corrected, glaring at her

"Easy! Keep it PG-13 here kiddies!" Tony teased, stepping back to avoid another smack, "Alright, alright! I'm going!"

* * *

He walked down the hall to the living room, setting up a bed on the couch. Peeking over the back, he saw Jen and Gibbs bickering in the stairwell. Jen whispered something in his ear before darting up the stairs, Gibbs at her heels. Tony chuckled, "Rule twelve..."


	6. Chapter 6

AN: This chapter contains very insignificant spoilers for Identity Crisis, and some episode in season one...I don't remember which one... the one where Ducky talks about shoving the guy into the lake 60 feet below?

* * *

"...you see, the lad was asking for trouble, he should have known better than that... having tumbled down that ravine! God only knows how he managed that..."

_Ducky? Are you there? Is that you? _Ziva could hear a familiar warm voice; it sounded close by, but at the same time felt very distant. The throbbing pain in her belly was gone, thankfully. Her body felt heavier to her than normal, her eyelids alone were to heavy to lift.

"...Yes, at the time...he was so sure of himself...I didn't envy him! No, that lake in February..." the Scottsman continued his soliloquy, oblivious to the fact that she was actually listening. Fading in and out, she only heard bits and pieces of his tale. She didn't have the heart or energy to interrupt, so she just lay quietly, listening. She kept her eyes closed, grateful for the company. A content smile rested on her face. "...but Jethro told him specifically...Ziva? Are you awake, dear?"

Reluctantly, she opened her eyes. Ducky stood over her, patting her hand softly, "Easy there my dear, are you coming back to us? You gave us all quite a fright there for a while. You've been sleeping for nearly two days now!"

The door swung open, and Tony stepped in, carrying an armload of pudding cups, "Hey, Duck! Look what _I_ got from the cafeteria!" the hundred-watt grin on his face instantly disappeared, changing to a look of shock as he dropped his swag, "Ziva?! When did you wake up? Pudding?" he offered her one of the cups, "I have chocolate, vanilla, and what I'm assuming is butterscotch."

Ducky chuckled, "How did you manage to make off with all those, without drawing attention to yourself? Anthony, you do realize you're stealing hospital property."

"Yeah, well, we've given this place enough business over the years to justify a few pilfered pudding cups." he sat down in a vacant seat, "How ya feeling Zee-vah? Need anything?"

She sighed, taking a cup from Tony's hand, "I've felt better." she struggled with the plastic lid, crushing the cup as she tried to force it open, "Can you open this?"

"The doc said you got a really bad infection. You had us worried." he sighed, tugging at the stubborn lid, "Come on...Aha!" The lid popped open, exploding in his lap, covering him in yellow goo.

Ziva covered her mouth, hiding the Cheshire cat's grin behind her hand. She chuckled softly, watching Tony wipe the muck off of his crotch. The pain in her side was aggravated by her laughter, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Tony cursed under his breath, but his frustration faded when he heard Ziva laughing at him. He could suffer small indignities if it meant that she would be cheered up a little, if only for a moment. Taking the handkerchief Ducky handed him, he rubbed at his pants furiously, "Think this is funny, huh? See if I ever steal for you again!" he smiled as he spoke, finding Ziva's laughter contagious

The pain finally became too much, and her laughs faded to whimpers. Ducky placed a hand on her shoulder, "Ziva? Are you in any pain, dear?" he took her hand firmly in his own, feeling her fingers tremble, "Anthony, go and fetch her doctor, quickly."

* * *

The medical staff was quick to respond, forcing Tony and Ducky aside. A nurse quickly emptied a vial into her patient's IV line, and within moments, the drugs took their toll. Her heart rate soon stabilized, and her blood pressure dropped a little. The doctor left them all with reassurances that everything was normal. Suddenly very tired, she lay back, staring off into space.

Before leaving, the nurse made sure that Ziva knew how to use the call button, and had it within reach. She urged Ziva to take medication for the pain whenever she needed it. Tony and Ducky both knew that Ziva had known that before, and it didn't matter. She was not one to admit to weakness or pain.

Ducky approached her bedside, pulling the blankets tightly around the young woman, "Don't scare us like that! My heart isn't exactly young, you know. There's only so much an old man can take!" he admonished gently.

Tony reached under the chair he had been seated in, and pulled out a large colorful bag. Smiling, he offered it to Ziva, "Hey! I got ya a little something."

Curious, she took the bag. Peering inside, she chuckled. A large plush pink pony, adorned with a spiral horn and shimmery gold eagle's wings flopped out onto the bed. The creature had anime-style eyes, clearly disproportional to its head, and a long gold mane.

Ducky cocked his head to the side, picking up the toy for a closer look, "What on Earth is this?"

Ziva smiled, "Its an adage, Ducky!"

"Its a cross between a Pegasus and a unicorn." Tony explained, in a very matter-of-fact tone.

Ducky didn't seem to follow, handing the creature back to Ziva, "But, an adage simply means a saying, or expression. It has nothing to do with mythological beasts."

Tony and Ziva exchanged glances. Their inside jokes always kept things interesting. Smiling, Ziva pecked Tony on the cheek, "Thank you, Tony. That was very thoughtful." she turned to Ducky, "I believe you were telling a story, Ducky?"

"Ah, yes! The time Jethro and I were working with the French police?" Ducky sat down, entering story mode

* * *

"_What do you mean, 'tampered'? What did these...French people...do to my crime scene?" Gibbs exploded_

_Ducky rubbed his temple in frustration, "Well, apparently protocol has no meaning here! They moved the body, Jethro."_

_Two weeks of undercover investigation, hundreds of man hours, and countless resources were used; wasted trying to find a serial killer before he struck again. Their only other option was to wait for another body to turn up, and hope for clues from it. Now that another body had surfaced, it was next to useless because the body had been disturbed._

"_So, who's gonna tell the families of these women that the bastard who raped and murdered their daughter, sister, mother, is free to kill again because they couldn't follow procedure, and the case was thrown out?" Gibbs demanded, seeing red, "I sure as hell am not having that hanging over my head!"_

_Ducky could sympathise with his friend's anger. Three women. All found bound, gagged, naked, and strangled. All of whom had families, and a future. All who met an untimely end. "Jethro, there will be justice. There always is." hollow words were all he could offer at the moment_

"_Jen!" Gibbs screamed, "We're leaving!"_

_Ducky felt sorry for Jethro's most recent partner. A young red-haired thing, with a bit of a temper. She could hold her own against Gibbs under normal circumstances, but now..._

_The young woman quietly and obediently followed her partner, wincing at Gibbs' voice, "Can you believe this Jen? They call for our help, only to mess everything up!"_

_Ducky clasped a hand on the young woman's shoulder, "Not to worry. He'll calm down in due time. He gets like this around divorce time."_

_She smiled, "Thank you, doctor. I believe that a man from metro was wanting to talk to you regarding releasing the body?"_

_He turned to the metro cop, the unfortunate Monsieur Duvet, who dared to disturb the body. Putting on a friendly face, Ducky approached, "My good sir, could you tell me what it is that you need?" his voice was laced wit bitterness_

"_Oui, if you could just sign here, releasing the body to our coroner, we can be on our way!" Duvet smiled_

"_To 'your' coroner?" Ducky was livid. The audacity of these people! They expected NCIS to give up jurisdiction that easily? Did they think that little of them?_

_"Oh, and could you contact the family?"_

_A shimmer from under the bridge caught his eye. The sun was rising over the lake below, casting a red glow over the near-frozen lake. Weighing out the potential consequences, he judged the shore to only be a hundred yards away or so..._

"_Do it yourself!" Ducky shouted, shoving the man over the railing and into the icy water. After a few seconds, a loud splash was heard, followed by the cries of startled waterfowl._

_Gibbs and Jen heard the noise, and ran over. Peering over the edge, they tossed their heads back and laughed, listening to the shouts of an angry Frenchman._

* * *

AN: Reviews are always appreciated! : ) Thanks to those who've already reviewed!


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Thanks to all who've reviewed! Warning: this chapter contains cryptic mention of incest. Skip the italics if this bothers you.

* * *

McGee knocked softly on the hospital room door. When he heard no reply from inside, he pushed the door open slowly, trying to enter quietly. His attempt at stealth was thwarted as the heavy door creaked loudly as its hinges opened. He cringed, knowing that Ziva was a very light sleeper, and that she slept with a gun in her hand. Peering inside, he saw that his fears were unfounded.

Ziva lay relaxed and resting, her heart monitor telling him in monotone that she was in a deep sleep. She had a remote control near her hand, which lay limp at her side. The small television in the room was tuned in to a local news channel. She seemed much more human now. Most of the tubes and wires were gone, and some color had returned to her face.

He turned off the news, taking a seat by her bed. He was a little reluctant to wake her. On one hand, he knew she would want to go home, now that the doctor had signed her release forms. But on the other, she still needed her rest, and she looked so peaceful, lying there sleeping. Sighing, he decided that she could sleep a little while longer. She would probably kill him regardless of what choice he made for choosing wrong anyway. What difference would a few minutes make?

After a few minutes, the steady pulse that he'd grown a little too used to began to change. The pace quickened, and became more erratic. Watching over her, he noticed her hand tightening into a fist, and her closed eye twitched beneath her eyelids. A small cry escaped her lips as she thrashed around under the sheets. Feeling helpless, McGee shook her shoulder gingerly, "Ziva? Wake up, its only a dream!" he pleaded to her, "Open your eyes, its okay."

* * *

"_Tali! Come on," Ziva hissed, "This is pure stupidity!"_

_There were times when she couldn't believe that this creature shared her gene pool. Her sister was belligerent, rude, obnoxious, and completely self-centered. "Ziva, I am not making you come with me." Tali reminded her, "If you want to go back, do so now!"_

_Running away was not a new concept in their family. She'd considered it many times before, just to escape for a little while. But she had never acted on that impulse, not like her sister planed to do. There were times when life could be too much; there was so much misery in this world._

"_Tali, I know that when Aba gets like this it seems like nothing can make it better. I've been there too remember? I've seen him when he's drunk, when he's angry, when he's abusive! I've dealt with it for two years longer than you have!" she snapped, "He may be a monster, but he is also your father. Running away will not separate you from your problems and your demons, Tali. They will follow you wherever you go."_

"_You don't understand!" the sixteen year old screamed, "He isn't even human anymore! Ever since Ima died, he has turned into something I don't even recognize! He drinks, he beats us, he tried to rape you, Ziva! He would have too if Ari hadn't stopped him! Is that something that a father does? He isn't safe to be around! He's tried before too, hasn't he? Has he succeeded?"_

_Ziva remained silent, not wanting to burden her baby sister with the truth. Her silence alone was enough of an answer._

"_Ziva, I cannot take anymore!" she wept, shaking as she packed her bags, "Are you coming with me, or not?"_

_Ziva sighed, following her sister out the window and into the night._

* * *

_The crowded café, their typical meeting place was filled with the sounds of conversation and chaos. "How much money do you have?" Ziva asked, sipping her tea_

"_Twenty shekels." Tali sighed, hearing her sister chuckle, "I know, it won't last long, but I just needed to get away..." she didn't need to explain herself; Ziva understood_

"_I know." Ziva smiled, "I am just grateful I will be leaving home next month. I can go to college, get a job, and finally get away from this place forever."_

"_You will come and visit us, yes?" Tali asked, pleadingly, "Ari is going back to school, you're starting up this term, and I will be at home with Aba!"_

"_Tali, I promise I will visit every weekend. How does that sound?" she smiled, "And, my school is only a few miles from home, so you can visit if you would like?"_

_Tali's eyes lit up,"Alright! We should probably go back. Aba probably is already furious, and when he gets angry..." she trailed off, knowing her sister knew all too well how out of control he could become. 'What would have happened if Ari hadn't been there that night?' Tali thought, shuddering  
_

"_I will go get the car." Ziva stood from her seat, stretching her legs, "You go pay for our drinks!"_

"_Why me?" Tali whined, "Fine, you will get the next ones! Unless of course you kill us driving home first?" she teased, "I can't believe Ari let you drive! That car is his baby!" Ari had lent Ziva the use of his precious convertible for her eighteenth birthday_

_Ziva jogged out to the car, starting the air conditioner. Pulling up to the front of the café,she looked through the front window, wondering why her sister was taking so long. She caught sight of a man standing on a table, his back to her. Seconds later, an explosion rattled the neighborhood._

* * *

Her eyes flew open and she bolted upright. Clutching her side, she rolled over, curling up in pain. Blinking back tears, she noticed McGee standing over her, watching with concern, "That was some nightmare." he probed, trying to help her calm down, "Do you want to talk about it?" he knew in all likelihood she wouldn't, but the least he could do was offer to lend an ear

A nurse poked her head in, "Miss? "Is everything alright in here?"

"I am fine, thank you." Ziva assured the woman, trying to regain her composure

McGee spoke for her, knowing Ziva wouldn't, "Just a dream. Could you get her something for the pain? I think she tried to get up too fast, and she's kinda sore." Ziva shot him a deadly glare. It had its desired effect, if only momentarily. He recoiled slightly, intimidated. Quickly recovering, he forced her to lie back down, "Relax, its just medication."

"I am tired of needles and drugs and nurses, McGee!" she lamented, "I am tired of being locked up, being told what I need, and what I should be doing. At what point did I lose all ability to control my life?"

He didn't really have an answer for her, "Well, the doctor signed your release papers, so after the nurse comes back with your medicine, and takes that IV out, you can go home." he smiled

Her eyes lit up, "If you are lying to me, something you cherish will die bloody, McGee." she cautioned

Smiling, he handed her the form, signed by her physician, "No joke. I promise."

The nurse came back in, carrying a syringe and a small vial, "Alright...this should only take a second here..." she emptied the syringe into the IV, withdrawing the flexible needle a moment later, "Okay, keep pressure on that for a minute or so. You can take the gauze off when you get home if you want to." taping down the nicked vein, the nurse helped Ziva sit up, "Now just because you're going home, that doesn't mean you're ready to run a marathon. Bed rest all this week, liquids for three days. You can get up and move around a little if you feel up to it after that, but for now just take it easy. It might take a few weeks before you're feeling like yourself again. You've got some medication you have to take, that's being filled at the pharmacy. They'll tell you what to look out for; mostly dizziness, nausea, and dry mouth."

"Okay..." Ziva only was able to follow bits and pieces of the instructions, but she'd been through enough surgeries to have a pretty good idea of what was in store for her.

McGee brought a wheelchair over, helping her in, "Ready to go home?"

* * *

Pulling up to a large old house, McGee noticed Ziva's expression of confusion, "McGee, this is not my apartment. In fact, this is nowhere near where I live."

He nodded, coming around to open her door for her, "I know, but Gibbs and Ducky both insisted that you stay here, at least for tonight. Abby's going by your apartment to get some of your things." he held out a hand to her, in case it was needed. Her glare made it clear that it wasn't.

"Alright, I suppose it is still better than staying in the hospital." she sighed, "Where are we?"

"Ducky's place." McGee cringed, hearing the yapping hounds that inhabited the home, sounding the alarm, "You like dogs, Ziva?"

She smiled, "Yes, usually." as they walked up to the porch, McGee held a hand on her shoulder to steady her, "I am fine, really. I can walk on my-" she stumbled slightly on the steps, grabbing on to his arm for support

"Yeah, you're fine." he muttered sarcastically, ringing the doorbell

The door opened, letting loose the swarm of small dogs. Four or five corgis, waddling around on short stubby legs weaved in between Ziva's legs, investigating the newcomer. One curious dog wandered over to McGee, biting down on his ankle, "Ah! Tyson, off!" he shook the fiendish pup off his leg

"Aw, I think that he likes you, McGee." Ziva knelt down, stroking the little hounds, "Hello there..." she cooed

Ducky stepped out, herding the little beasts back inside, "Come along now, back inside! All of you!" he managed to nudge them back in the door, closing it behind him, "Ziva, Timothy, come on in and make yourselves at home."

The home was pretty much what Ziva had expected Ducky's home to look like. Lots of antiques, family photographs, and with a very cozy ambiance. Everything seemed to have a designated place; the exception being a commode, in the middle of the lounge, "Um, Ducky? Why is there a commode in your living room?"

Ducky glanced over at the item in question sighing, "Mother." he explained, "She's convinced herself that it belongs there."

"Well she couldn't have possibly moved it herself?" Ziva inquired

"That's why she has an Italian gigolo furniture mover to help her." a voice called from upstairs, "Hey, guys. I see you've met Contessa? I think she likes you."

Ziva glanced down at the corgi, leaning sleepily against her leg, nuzzling her gently. She smiled, picking up the tired creature, "Hello, Contessa." she winced a little, feeling her stitches tug at her side

Tony came down the steps, taking the dog from Ziva's arms, "Hey, take it easy. No lifting, remember? You're supposed to be resting?" he gestured for her to follow him, still carrying the dog, "Come with me. McGee? Coffee?"

"What about it?" McGee asked, confused

"I've spent the morning setting up Ducky's guest room, moving a commode in and out of the lounge, watching after a pack of corgis, and babysitting a ninety-nine year old woman with dementia. I _need _some coffee! Go McStarbucks!" Tony complained tiredly

McGee nodded curtly, and left on a quest for coffee.

Ducky sighed, following Tony and Ziva upstairs, "I'm sorry for all the trouble, Anthony. But I do appreciate all your help today."

"Yeah, she's down for a nap downstairs." Tony sighed, "I don't think she's slowed down a bit in the past few years."

Ducky nodded, "No, Mother has always been a very independent woman, much like someone else I know," he smiled at Ziva. He opened the door, inviting her inside the guest room, "Here you are, dear. Its not much, but it will do."

The room was small, but comfortable. A day bed took up one corner of the room, covered in stuffed animals and pillows. A mini fridge, a small television, and a bookshelf were set up nearby. The fridge was stocked with soda, snacks, and a pint of 'Chunky Monkey' in the freezer section. The television had a DVD player connected to it, and a dozen DVDs were stacked beside the player. She recognized many of the books on the shelf as being from her own apartment, printed in various languages. "You did all of this for me? Why?" she asked, completely astonished at the dedication of her co-workers

Tony smiled, "Well, it was a group effort. The stuffed animals, obviously an Abby thing. The fridge is on loan from Gibbs, the Ben and Jerry's is from Abbs too. The movies, mine. And I will be quizzing you on them!" he browsed through them, "And Jen brought a bunch of your books." he led her over to the bed, throwing a few of the stuffed animals aside, "I told Abby she could bring a _few._ If fifty a few? Didn't think so."

Ziva smiled, sitting down on the soft bed, "Thank you all so much. For everything." Contessa hopped happily into her lap, "You did not have to go through all of this trouble for me." she lowered her head trying to hide the welling in her eyes

Ducky ran his hand up and down her back soothingly, "Its no trouble, dear. Just concentrate of getting better for now, alright?"

She nodded, laying her head on Tony's shoulder, "I do not know what came over me. I am sorry." she wiped the embarrassing tears away, "I think it may be the medication." she lied

Tony flipped back the covers, tucking her into bed, "You _are_ human Ziva. Its okay to act like it once in a while." the little corgi wandered over to her face, licking away her tears. The other dogs had also wandered in, hopping onto her bed

"Do you want me to evict the little nuisances?" Ducky asked, "They believe this room is theirs. Normally, this room is unoccupied, and they sleep in here."

She smiled, letting the dogs pack themselves around her, keeping her warm, "They may stay. They were here first, and I do not mind sharing with dogs."

"Is that why DiNozzo's here?" Gibbs asked, handing Ducky a paper bag, "She needs two of those every four hours, with food or milk." Ducky nodded, placing the medicine on the nightstand

"Not nice, boss." Tony complained with mock hurt. Ziva patted his head, trying to comfort him. "I'm a good boy." he pouted

Ziva smiled, pecking him on the cheek, "A very good boy."


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I know this chapter is a little short, but the wrath of my fans is nothing compared to the migraine throbbing in my head right now. Sorry!

* * *

Abby quickly made her way up the stairs to the second floor. She'd been to the Mallard residence many times before, and knew her way around. Quietly pushing the door to the guest room open, she smiled. Ziva was surrounded by a pack of furry hounds, all sleeping on top of her. The animals barely raised their ears at her entry, not caring that there was an intruder. She crept to Ziva's bedside, "Hey, you awake?" she tapped Ziva's shoulder

Abby watched Ziva's hand twitch slightly, "I _know_ you're awake, Ziva. No one likes a girl who fakes." she teased, hoping Ziva would take the bait. She gently pushed back her friend's eyelids, checking to see if she would react to the light.

Ducky pushed her hand away, "Abby, keep in mind she is on some fairly strong narcotics. Odds are, she just needs to rest. I don't believe she's deliberately trying to ignore you."

She shook Ziva's shoulder again, more forcefully, "Come on, lazybones! Wake up!" she decided to try a more diplomatic approach, "We have food?" she tempted in a sing-song voice

Ziva's eyes peeked open, "Food?" she mumbled, trying to sit up

"That did the trick," Ducky chuckled, "Come on, dear. You haven't eaten a decent meal in days, lets get you something to eat, shall we?" he nudged the corgis aside, trying to get them to abandon their conquest of Ziva's face. They swarmed around her, lapping at every inch of exposed skin they could find. "Down, down! Infernal little beasts!"

Abby helped Ziva stand up. She was a little shaky at first, but quickly recovered. "Come on, you get to help us eat pizza!" Abby urged as she half dragged her friend down the stairway

As they rounded the corner on the landing, they nearly crashed into Tony, "Whoa, easy there ladies! Plenty of me to go around," he teased, "Dinner's almost done, we're just waiting for the pizza to come out of the oven."

"We are having pizza?" Ziva's eyes lit up

"Yeah, Gibbs is making his old family recipe." Tony explained

"Gibbs can cook?" Ziva was a little surprised. Gibbs wasn't the kind of person you would imagine in a kitchen, much less cooking

"Well, when you pay alimony for three wives, I guess you can't eat out much." Abby laughed, "I wonder if he wears an apron? Or the goofy hat?" she closed her eyes, letting her imagination create the image of Gibbs pulling a pie out of the oven, wearing an apron that read, 'kiss the cook'.

Ducky chuckled warmly, "I wouldn't say that too loudly Abigail, his eyes are bad, not his hearing."

"Damn straight, Duck!" Gibbs stood at the bottom of the stairwell, looking mildly agitated, "Dinner's done." he gently slapped Abby on the rear, making her squeal slightly, "I do _not_ wear an _apron_."

* * *

A few slices of pizza and several beers later, the group had nearly had enough. Ziva thought that it was unfair that the others could drink, while her doctor forbid it. To make things more fair, anyone who had a beer had to drink it in the other room; Gibbs' orders.

Tony unbuttoned the top of his pants, giving himself more room, "I'm still hungry, how about you?"

Everyone else groaned, pushing their plates away, "Tony, where do you put it all?" McGee was already regretting eating two slices. Tony had eaten four already, and was still ready for more

"Probably in his head," Ziva suggested, "With all of that extra room, it must serve a purpose, yes?" she ducked to avoid a smack from Gibbs

"There's more ingredients in the kitchen, if you want more, make it." Gibbs told him, making himself comfortable on the couch, "You clean it up though, don't leave it all for Ducky."

"Yes, _dad_," Tony jeered, "Ziva? You hungry?" he gestured to her empty plate

"No," she stood up, collecting the empty plates, "I would like to help though, I enjoy cooking."

"Alright." he watched her carefully, making sure she wasn't pushing herself too hard, "Take it easy though, okay?"

* * *

He'd been sitting on a stool, stirring sauce for nearly fifteen minutes now, "Ziva? Is it done yet? My hand's tired, and I'm hungry!"

"Oh, stop whining! Taste it, if you think it is done, it probably is." she explained, kneading the dough on the countertop, "How is it?"

He took a spoonful, surprised at the difference between homemade and his normal takeout cuisine, "Tastes good!"

"Well I try not to prepare things that taste like crap." she chuckled, tasting a little for herself, "Alright, now we need to stretch the dough, can you handle that?"

He smiled, "Heh, maybe?"

* * *

"_Alright Anthony, the key to good pizza is the dough! You can make it chewy or flaky, soft or crispy, however you like it. It gives the pizza personality and makes it unique." Maria, Tony's grandmother showed her six-year-old grandson the large bowl of dough, "How do you like it?"_

_Tony peered into the bowl, not sure how that glob was going to turn into a pizza, "I like it chewy." he said with excitement_

_His grandmother smiled, taking a large portion out, and tossing it on her knuckles, "Do you see how when you spin it, it stretches? You want the dough to be even, loose, and a good wide circle; a little bigger than you want the pizza." she spun it in the air a few times, "Put your hands up, just like me."_

_He mimicked his grandmother's movements, "Can I try?" he bounced up and down, gazing in wonder at the dough, flying high in the air_

_Her eyebrows raised, "Are you sure?"_

"_Yes, yes grandmama!" he held his hands out to take the dough from her. She carefully handed it over to him, watching him toss it gently, "Like this?"_

"_A little higher, Anthony. You want to get it spinning, that way it spreads out and gets wide." she took his hands in hers, showing him the right way_

"_Look, its growing!" he tossed it higher and higher, watching in wonder, "Grandmama, look!" _

_She chuckled, "Very good, my boy!" she patted his head, "Now not so high, Tony."_

_The dough flew down from the air, missing the boy's knuckles. Instead, the thin sheet of dough landed over his head and shoulders. Panicking, Tony ran circles in the kitchen, "Grandmama?! I can't see!" he ran out of the kitchen, dashing through the large house and into the living room, "Grandmama? Help!"_

_A soft voice called out to him, "Tony? What have you gotten into?" he ran toward the sound of his mother's voice, "Maria, what did he get all over? Is that pizza dough?" his mother chuckled. He looked like a ghost at Halloween, running around in a sheet_

_Tony continued his terrified sprint, finally crashing into something. Dazed, he fell to the floor. As he sat up again, the dough lifted from over his eyes, revealing a group of men in business suits, including his father, "Tony? What on earth possessed you to run around like an animal?"_

_He hung his head, "Sorry, papa. I didn't mean to, the dough fell on my head!" he tried to explain, "I couldn't see where I was going!"_

_His father pulled him to his feet, "Angelina, take him to get cleaned up." he handed him off to his mother, "No more pizza tonight."_

"_But papa! I won't touch it, I promise! I'll let grandmama do all the cooking, and I won't play with any of it!" he begged_

"_No." he smacked the boy's head, "You will be eating peanut butter sandwiches for dinner, and then going to bed."_

* * *

"Tony?" Ziva waved a hand in front of his eyes. She looked worried, "Are you alright, Tony? You started staring off into space, and you would not listen to me. Are you feeling okay?"

He smiled, her concern touching him, "No, I'm fine." he turned to the countertop, covered in flour and dough, "Next on the agenda, dough! Right?" he picked up the blob

"Yes, now do you know how to do this?" she asked

"Yeah, my grandmother taught me when I was a kid. Well, kinda." he tossed it up in the air a few times, trying to get the feel for it, "Like that?"

She shook her head, "No, not quite." she stood close behind him, her arms around his sides, her hands closed down over his, "Do as I do." her soft hands moved his, gently tossing the dough in the air. He could feel her breath of the back of his neck, "See? Now you try."

She moved back, letting him try on his own. He let his technique falter, making her come back, "No, no. You had it before! Here, lets try again, yes?" her hands closed over his again, helping him along, "Much better."

* * *

An hour later, they had finally prepared one near perfect pizza. Ducky came down after they set the smoke alarm off, preheating the oven, "Try not to burn down the house." he cautioned, "If you do, at least save me some of that pizza; it smells wonderful."

They split the pizza, leaving a section for Ducky on the kitchen table. The others had apparently already left for the night; glancing over at the clock, it was already nearly midnight. Tony grabbed a slice for each of them, and led Ziva back upstairs, "Next on the agenda, movies." he pushed the door open, heading straight for the DVDs, "What do you want to watch?"

She sighed, flopping down on the bed, exhausted, "I do not care." she took a large bite of her pizza, "Just find something." she sighed, closing her eyes

He popped in _Blades of Glory_ before curling up next to her, "I think you pushed yourself a little too hard today, sweetcheeks." he took a bite of pizza, his eyes lighting up, "Wow, that's good pizza!" he tucked her in beside him, making the two of them comfortable

She reached over to the nightstand, grabbing her pills. Swallowing two of them, she lay back on Tony's chest, "So what are we watching?" she closed her eyes, not really paying attention to the movie

"Just watch the movie, I'll fill you in later." he knew she wouldn't last through the whole thing anyway

By the time the previews had ended, and the title menu appeared, she was already sound asleep, curled up in his arms. He gently kissed her forehead, "Good night, Ziva."


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Okay, some of you were wondering what happened to Ducky's mom. This chapter will answer that question. Just so we're clear, I do not find mental disorders of the elderly funny, and neither should you. This is about the characters (created by DPB, not me), not making fun of the less fortunate.

* * *

Ziva woke with a start from the same dreaded nightmare that had haunted her sleep for years. Cursing and fighting back tears, she stumbled into the bathroom, drenching her face in cold water. Gazing at her reflection in the glass, she saw her red swollen eyes and swore. She did not cry, and when she did, no one ever needed to know. Leaning closer to the mirror, she furrowed her brow in confusion. A small band-aid like strip was placed across her nose. She peeled it off, thinking nothing of it.

She slipped into the shower, letting the tears flow shamelessly down her face. Standing cloaked in the spray, she let the water run itself cold. Stepping out, she gathered her clothes. Something was missing though.

Looking around the bathroom, she couldn't find her underwear. _Tony is not here, that rules him out. Ducky would not steal my undergarments...at least I don't _think_ he would. _Deciding it was nothing to worry over, she headed back to her room. Tony had left her side at some point, not that she was surprised. Sprawling out lazily on the bedspread, she closed her eyes in hopes of finding another few hours of rest. She beat her frustration at herself, at the world, and at Tony into her pillows. _Did I honestly think that he would stay?_

Sighing deeply, she threw the pillow across the room. A small slip of paper fell from the pillowcase, and floated down gently to the floor. Confused, she read the note aloud:

_Ziva,_

_I hope you slept better than I did. You probably still have one of those Breathe-Right thingies on your nose. They may have helped **you **sleep, but my God Sweetcheeks..._

_I took the pack for a walk. I should be back around nine, we're just going to that park on Fairview. There's Vicodin on the nightstand. By the way, I found like twelve of them hidden in your pillowcase. **Not **happy, Ziva. I want you to actually **take** these ones. If you don't, I'll tell Gibbs you haven't been taking them, and I'm sure he can find a way to get them into you...and somehow I don't think you'll like it very much._

_Tony_

She smiled, folding up the note and placing it on the nightstand next to the forgotten pills. The clock on the wall read 8:56. Tony would be back with the dogs any time. She made her way downstairs to watch for him from the front window.

A few moments later, she burst out laughing. Tony was being half dragged down the block by the corgis, who at the sight of their home had taken off full speed. Tony dug his heels into the sidewalk, trying in vain to slow down the stampede. Finally, he gave up and let go of the leashes a half-block from the house, letting the animals run for the front door. The dogs built up more momentum than their stubbly legs could stop, and several loud_ thunks _hit the door, one at a time, followed by a soft whining sound.

Ziva chuckled, opening the door for the dogs, who swarmed around, happy to see her. Tony ran to catch up, panting heavily as he herded the corgis inside. "In, you've had your fun, now let me just pass out here..." he flopped into an empty armchair in the living room, "So how's your morning?"

"I've just now gotten up." Ziva told him, releasing the dogs from their leashes, "How was your walk?"

He gave her a look that told her not to press the subject, "A little five year old thought dogs like candy." Ziva looked down, seeing a sucker matted in one of the dog's fur, "Tyson needs a bath. And I'm not doing it."

"Why did you not take it out?" Ziva asked, gently prying the candy out of Tyson's coat

"Because. Tyson's name isn't just for show, he bites!" Tony explained, showing her an old bite mark scar on his hand, "You do it, he likes you."

She smiled, "Perhaps he would like you too if you did not demean them so much. They are only animals, they do not know better. It is not their fault if they like candy..." she latched onto Tyson, now squirming angrily against her, "Hold still, I will not hurt you. I just want to get that out of your coat."

"Ziva, I'd let go if I were-"

"_Leazazel, harah_!" Ziva tried to pull her hand away, but the dog refused to release her from his bite, "Let go of me you little beast!" she hissed, shaking her hand

"Tyson!" Ducky scolded, "No! We do not bite people!" he ran in from the kitchen, grabbing Tyson by his collar, squeezing the sides of his mouth. The dog quickly let go, growling at Ziva, "I'm terribly sorry, Ziva. He normally doesn't do that unless something is upsetting him."

Ziva held her injured hand close to her body, "I am fine, thankfully he is only a small dog. He was angry at me for pulling at his fur; he has a piece of candy stuck in his coat.

Tony came over, checking Ziva's hand, "That had to hurt." he carefully examined her palm, which while bruised and sore, wasn't bleeding too badly, "Let's get you cleaned up."

Ducky sighed, locking Tyson in his kennel, "Someone needs a little time in solitary." he took a quick look at Ziva's hand, "It isn't too deep, I don't think it will require stitches. However, I do want you to get that cleaned and bandaged; a dog's mouth is not notoriously clean."

"Thank you, Ducky." she let him lead her to the kitchen sink to wash out the bite

"There we go...thankfully the bite is shallow. The bleeding has slowed quite a bit. Here, let me get you some bandages," he carefully wrapped her palm up, bending her fingers to make sure she could still use her hand, "That will do nicely."

"Thank you," she smiled, "Oh, Ducky?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Have you seen my underwear? They disappeared while I was taking a shower. I do not know if you were doing laundry, or..." she trailed off

"Oh, dear..." Ducky sighed, rubbing his temple, "I should have warned you, dear. I really am terribly sorry."

"For what?" Ziva furrowed her brow, seeing Tony shake his head out of the corner of her eye, trying to stifle his laughter

"Donald! I want that harlot out of my home!" Vanessa Mallard complained, holding up a red satin thong, "Look at these! A girl with good intentions does not wear nickers like these! These aren't even nickers, its dental floss!"

Ziva's face turned bright red, recognizing the underwear in question as her own. "Your mother stole my panties?"

Ducky groaned, "She's ninety-nine years old, and suffers from dementia, Ziva. I've long since given up on trying to make sense of her actions. She believes that you can tell a woman's intentions by what sort of underwear she has."

"Always been my philosophy." Tony interjected, grinning from ear to ear

"Donald, are you sleeping with her?" Mrs. Mallard asked, eying Ziva critically, "I still want grandchildren Donald, I'm not getting any younger. She is a pretty little thing, but she's a siren! A temptress! She won't do, Donald! Not with these nickers!" she threw the underwear at Ziva, "Whatever happened to that pretty young goth thing...Annie was it? She had decent nickers; she was good for you!" she turned to Ziva, spitting on her

"Mother!" Ducky admonished, "Why don't you go and wait in the garden, I will have your morning tea ready shortly." he led her out of the kitchen by her arm

"Haven't I had my morning tea yet?"

"No, you haven't." he turned to Ziva, "As much as I do appreciate your company, I think it would be best for you to take your leave. My mother no longer thinks rationally, and I don't think its a good idea for you to stay here while she's on the warpath. The last time Caitlin was here, Mother tried to shoot her with my father's old crossbow simply for giving me a peck on the cheek."

"Don't worry, in about ten minutes, she won't even remember you. You can start with a clean slate as many times as you want. Well, she keeps common traits assigned to you; I'm an Italian-gigolo-furniture mover." Tony explained

"Anthony, I know you think you're helping, but you're not." Ducky sighed, "It is a sad fact that she doesn't have any control over this. I'm sure if she got to know you, she would find you to be a wonderful person, Ziva. But once she has something in her head, there is no reasoning with her."

"I understand, Ducky." Ziva sighed, "My grandfather still thinks that he is going to be deported by the Nazis again every time he hears a train go by. He hides in the basement for days at a time afterwards. My aunt Nettie looks after him. He's a hundred and four next month." she told him sadly

"Wow." Tony breathed, "Maybe we should introduce them?" he joked

"Not funny, Tony." Ziva told him, her eyes wide with horror


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Yes, I have a dirty mind, and so every so often, you will find a dirty chapter. This is one of them...

* * *

Ziva finished packing up her things, tossing them into the back seat of Tony's car. He came out, carrying the last of her things and scoffed, "Don't just toss it!"

She rolled her eyes, "They are my things Tony," she sighed, "I can do with them what I please!"

"Not in my car you can't!" he began to straighten up the back seat, "See? You knocked over everything!" he handed her the duffel bag she'd just thrown in the back

"Tony," she was starting getting annoyed, "How can I knock over 'everything' if everything consists of a duffel bag and a backpack, plus a few pill bottles?"

"And our lunch!" he held up a squashed sack

Groaning, she sat in the passenger seat, "Can I just go home Tony? I will reimburse you for your food. However, it already looked like someone stepped on it before I threw the bag on it." she took the bag of food from him, showing him a crushed hamburger, "What is this?" she held the burger away from herself

"That's a burger," he told her, taking it from her and taking a bite, "Its food. You know, that stuff you eat?"

She smacked him, "That barely looks edible, and will probably kill you." she leaned back in her seat, massaging her temple

"Well...yeah. It might take twenty years, but-" he stopped, noticing that she wasn't quite herself, "Hey, Ziva? You okay?" he prodded gently

"Fine," she nodded, resting her head against the window, "I just do not like taking drugs. I do not even recognize myself. I feel useless, weak, and lazy. Three things which I never am."

He smiled, "You're not in pain anymore though, right?" she nodded, "See? At least there's that?" he tried to make her feel better. He knew she would have never taken her medication if he hadn't forced her to. "Would you rather be in pain?"

"Yes." she told him without a moments hesitation, "At least when I am in pain, I can focus. Now, I keep seeing and hearing things wrong, and Ducky had to keep me from falling down the stairs."

"Come on, let's get you home, shall we?" he pulled out of the Mallards' driveway, checking behind him for stray corgis. By the time he turned back to look at her, she was already asleep.

* * *

Tony borrowed a spare key from her next door neighbor and let himself into her apartment. Her things could stay in the car for now, but she could not. He wasn't sure if he should wake her, even if he could. Instead, he carefully picked her up, and carried her into her home, laying her down on her bed, on top of the covers. He turned down the lights, and let her rest.

The apartment was about what he had expected. Sparsely decorated, with a pullout sofa in the living room. A few bookshelves lined the walls, full of books in no fewer than a dozen languages. Her kitchen was the most lavish of her rooms, filled with spices and foods he'd never even heard of. He had heard that she was a good cook, but never believed her to be the baking type.

He moved into the living room, making himself at home. She'd finally gone out and purchased a television, but he doubted she watched it much. He flipped through the channels, finally settling on a documentary on the Civil War. On the recreation battlefield, he noted that there was no 'poo boy' around. He silently cursed his father. _All those years of carrying that damn bucket! There is no poo boy! Of all the degrading jobs he could have found me, he had to go and make one up that topped 'em all..._

"Tony?" a sleepy voice mumbled, "What are you watching?" she sat down on the couch beside him, blinking a few times to adjust to the light, "I thought you hated the Civil War?"

"I do." _More now than ever._ "But seeing as you have basic cable, there's really not much on. You finally got a TV, and personally I'm proud of you, but you need some channels!" he handed her the remote, hoping she would find something, anything more stimulating than this.

"Why would I want...five hundred channels,or however many you have, if there is nothing worth watching?" she asked, turning the TV off, "If there is nothing on fifty channels, what makes you think that adding more will fix that problem? Besides, why would I pay for something I do not need?"

"Because its the American way, Ziva." he explained, "We don't 'need' fancy things, we just want them. How do you think we're trillions of dollars in debt?"

"I thought that was largely because of the War?" she asked, "Whatever. I do not need or want more TV."

They sat in silence for a while. Tony stood up to stretch his legs, looking at the pictures on the walls. There weren't very many, but they offered a glimpse into her past that few people ever saw. One in particular caught his eye.

A young boy stood behind a little girl, no older than six years old, pulling her mouth open. Through her forcefully parted lips, you could see four bleeding gaps in her gums. Both the boy and girl were grinning, probably fighting laughter. Tony laughed, "What's this?" he showed her the picture, making her roll her eyes

"My half brother," she explained, "thought it would be fun to ride his skateboard down the stairs. Seeing as I was younger, smaller, and lighter, he made me go first. He pushed me down, causing me to swallow my first four teeth."

"Did the tooth fairy come?" Tony joked

"No, but my father was furious. We also managed to ruin the Passover Seder by launching the skateboard onto the table from the upstairs landing." she found a photo album on a shelf, and flipped to an amusing picture. The shattered remains of the dishes littered the table, the group of people situated around the table were holding their sides, laughing heartily. In the center of the table, on top of the Seder plate, was the skateboard. "Our guests found it amusing, and could not find it in their hearts to be angry with small children. My father however..." she trailed off, not wanting to go there

"Ah..." he flipped through Ziva's album, realizing that he may be the first person outside her family to see these glimpses into her past. He found another photo that stood out, "Hey, what about this one?" he showed her the photo, making her groan

"You would find that one..." she sighed, "That is from my Bat Mitzvah, and no, you may not have it!" she took the album from him, gazing at the picture for the first time in years.

* * *

"_Ari! You came!" thirteen year old Ziva threw her arms around her half-brother, "You missed the ceremony." she scolded_

_He tousled his little sister's hair, "I know, I came as quickly as I could, but Mossad comes first. You know that!" she grinned knowing that he was right_

"_Alright, what did you get me?" she demanded, gesturing to the colorful bag he carried with him. She tried to pry it from his grip, "Come on, let me see!"_

"_Who says its for you?" he teased, holding it high over her head. He was five years her senior, and stood a good two feet over her, "Alright, this is getting pitiful..." he handed her the gift, chuckling warmly_

"_What is it?"she tore through the wrappings with excitement, "Oh, you shouldn't have..." she held in her hands a box of condoms. "Really, Ari. You shouldn't have..."_

"_Well, Zivaleh, you are a woman now!" he them, and showed them to her, "Keep these with you always, if a man says he is allergic to them, he is lying." he was very protective of his younger sisters, especially Ziva. "I hope you will not start using these for a long time though." _

"_Um, alright?" she was confused, "Ari, why do I need to keep those things with me, and why would a man lie about allergies?" she read the back of the condom box, "Oh!" she turned red in the face, "That's what those are!" she giggled_

"_Ziva!" her father called, "Ari? I did not think you were coming. You got your sister a gift? Let me see..." he took the bag from Ziva, who was trying to hide her gift from their father, "Ari! She is a child!" _

"_Aba, she is a woman in the eyes of HaShem, you said so yourself!" he laughed, taking back Ziva's gift, "And if she is going to have sex, at least you know she's safe!" _

"_I am not having sex, Aba!" Ziva insisted, trying to take the box back from her brother before he caused more trouble, "Ari is simply being a pervert." she stuck her tongue out at her brother, who happily returned the gesture_

* * *

Tony laughed at the picture, a young Ziva and her brother, sticking their tongues out at each other in a synagogue, while playing tug of war with a box of condoms. "Wow..." he smiled, "And I thought my family was bad! Will you at least make me a copy of it?" he begged

"No!" she snapped, closing the album

Tony opened it again, "You know, your brother looks kinda familiar..."


	11. Chapter 11

Ziva froze. She felt her knees threaten to buckle under her. She knew a day would come when she would have to explain about her past, but she never dreamed it would be this soon. What would he think of her? How could she expect him to understand?

"You know what? He looks kind of like-" Tony started to speak, but stopped mid-sentence, "Ziva? You okay?" she could hear Tony's voice, echoing in her head until it faded away to nothing

She couldn't handle this. Not now. How had things gotten so out of hand so fast? Why had she let him see these glimpses into her past? She felt her head spinning, and held her hands out to try to maintain her balance. _Easy Ziva, do not let this go to your head, you can do this. Why am I so dizzy? Stress, panic, the medication? Something is not right..._

"Ziva!" Tony called out to her, catching her as she crumpled to the ground, "What's wrong?" he was beginning to panic now, carrying her over to the sofa, "Come on, Ziva. Don't do this to me again, don't scare us like this!"

She opened her eyes, "Tony? What happened?" her voice showed rare weakness, her hand finding his, "I feel so tired..." she felt horrible, the room blurring around her, darkness closing in around her

"Ziva? How many of those pills did you take?" Tony ran into her bedroom, grabbing the bottle for reference. He placed them on the coffee table, running to the phone book, searching for poison control. "Ziva, how many pills?!" his voice showed desperation and fear

She began to close her eyes, trying to think, "Two?" she guessed, "One when I found your note, one after I woke up...a few minutes ago..."

"Yeah, I'm here." Tony told the operator, listening intently, "Yeah, she took a bunch of Vicodin!" he paced the room frantically before sitting down beside Ziva on the couch, "Okay...okay. Thank you."

"The guy says that it might be an overdose, or just a bad reaction,." he told her, brushing her hair out of her eyes, clinging to her brow from the sweat rolling down her cheeks, "We need to get you back to the hospital, Ziva. We need to figure out what's wrong..." he patted her cheek, trying to get her to stay awake, "Come on, stay with me here. Poison control sent an ambulance, so don't worry."

She rolled over onto her side, clutching her stomach. "Tony, something is very wrong," she groaned, emptying her stomach onto the floor

"Just hang on, help is coming, Ziva."

* * *

Tony sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour, being interrogated by his team about the incident. He honestly couldn't remember it too clearly; it all seemed like a blur to him, like it wasn't even real.

A nurse came out, an encouraging smile on her face, "Are you here for Miss David?"

They all jumped to their feet, Abby clinging tightly to Gibbs' arm in anticipation, "Yeah, is she okay?"

"She just had a rather nasty reaction to the medication. The amount she took might have caused her to have problems with it, but add in the fact that her body wouldn't handle a normal dose..." she trailed off, more not needing to be said, "But right now she's doing as good as can be expected. She's stable, but we're keeping a close eye on her. She's awake, but not very lucid at the moment." she walked down the hall, gesturing for the group to follow, "You can go in and visit, one at a time, but you may have to leave if anything changes. I'm not sure why she had such a bad reaction, has she taken that medication before?"

"She's been on it for nearly a week now," Ducky informed her, "I haven't noticed any adverse effects until now." he felt guilty for not seeing any problems. He hated himself for not keeping a closer eye on her, "She seemed quite alright earlier."

Tony sighed, remembering the mostly full bottle on the nightstand, and the pills stuffed in the pillowcase, "That's because she didn't take them, Ducky. She's been finding creative ways of hiding them. I found a bunch that she was hiding, and confronted her about it. She's only actually started it today."

"Why wouldn't she take her medication?" McGee asked, peeking in through the window into her room at Ziva's resting form, "She was obviously in pain at times, but I figured that was normal, considering all she's been through."

"She says she didn't like the way they made her feel, so she quit taking them after the first dose." Tony leaned against the doorway, feeling the weight of guilt crash down on him, "But I made her take them anyway. I told her I'd make Gibbs force feed them to her if she didn't start taking care of herself."

Gibbs smiled briefly. Ziva wasn't one to be intimidated, but everyone knew he would do whatever it took to ensure the safety of this dysfunctional NCIS family of his.

The nurse noted a few things on Ziva's chart, "Now that she's off of it, she should recover pretty quickly. The effects of it might linger for a few hours, or even days, but there shouldn't be any permanent problems."

They all breathed a sigh of relief. Abby raise her hand, bouncing on her heels, "Director? Requesting permission to ask a question?"

Jen smiled, "You're asking permission to ask permission to go see her first?" she guessed, not that it required much guesswork.

"Yeah," she looked very confused for a moment, "Hey, you know what? Gibbs always knows when I have something for him. And you know what I'm gonna ask, before I ask it!" she looked at Gibbs and Director Shepard appraisingly, "Either both of you have ESP, I do, or maybe even all three! Wouldn't that be so cool?"

"Yes, Abby." Jen shook her head, nothing around here really surprised her anymore, "Go on in, but don't be too long. She needs her rest, and we'd like to see her sometime soon too."

Gibbs took a seat next to Jen on the bench in the hallway, "Since when does she listen to you?" he remembered Jen's first week. How she'd forced Abby so subject herself to the office dress code, and how the two women had a bit of a rocky start.

"Ever since about the time she..." Jen laughed, "I honestly can't even pretend to understand that young woman. All I know is, she's a devoted friend, a brilliant scientist, and a lot of fun to have around!"

* * *

Ziva barely noticed the door push open before she was enveloped in a death-grip, "Hello, Abby." she didn't even need to open her eyes to know who it was

"How many times are you gonna scare us?!" she demanded, only half joking, "First, you nearly let your appendix pop. Then, the surgeon leaves a sponge in you, which okay, isn't really your fault, but it wouldn't have been an issue if you hadn't nearly let your appendix go Mount Saint Hellens on your insides! And now, the drugs you were supposed to be taking, but didn't until you were made to, because of your surgery, because of your appendix, because of your stubbornness, nearly got you killed! Again!" she finally stopped to breathe, "Okay, I'm done venting!" she hopped up on the bed next to a very confused looking Ziva

"Can you say that again, a little slower?" she asked, "My English has gotten better, but I doubt most native speakers could follow that train of thought." she caught bits and pieces of her rant, but missed most of it altogether

Abby smiled, shaking her head, "Its forgotten." she wrapped Ziva in another hug, "I'm glad you're not dead."

Ziva smiled, "Me too."

* * *

Gibbs went in next, feeling the need to set a few things straight. He took in the sight of her tired and weary body, and realized how close they all came to losing her again. "Hey." he said simply

She didn't move, or even open her eyes, "I suppose there is some sort of rule that I did not know about until now that I've managed to violate, yes?" she joked, feeling the palm of his hand brush against her head, much softer than his usual slaps, "I thought so..."

"Nope. No rule, but if you ever lie to us about anything again, I'll kick your ass so hard, your grandchildren won't be able to sit!" he warned her, "You're staying with me once you're out of here, no argument."

She nodded, not trusting herself to say anything at the moment.

A nurse came in, checking her blood pressure for what seemed like the hundredth time, "Your blood pressure's still a bit on the low side," she told her, "It should resolve soon, but for now, just try to rest, okay? We don't want you to pass out again, do we?" she piled on more blankets, not really necessary considering it was eighty degrees out, but she didn't really care anymore

Gibbs remained for a moment after the nurse left, staying lone enough to tell her, "I'll send in DiNozzo. If that doesn't raise your blood pressure, nothing will." he chuckled on his way out

* * *

During the time between Gibbs leaving and Tony entering, Ziva could feel her pulse pounding away in fear. Her mind raced with a million questions. _What will I say? What is he going to ask me? How much has he already figured out?_

Tony poked his head in before entering, "Hey, can I come in?"

She nodded. He really didn't need her permission, but if he was being a gentleman, she didn't want to discourage him. "It is alright," she told him, "I do not mind."

He sat down on the edge of her bed, "I'm sorry." he told her simply, "I shouldn't have made you take those pills. Look where they got you!" he let out a forced laugh, "You okay now?"

Ziva placed her hand on his, "Tony, this is not your fault. No one is to blame for this. I feel fine. A little tired, but fine." she assured him, taking a moment to bask in the warm smile she got from him. She mentally sighed, knowing now was as good of a time as any, and he would have to know the truth someday, "Tony, you said my brother looked familiar, yes?"


	12. Chapter 12

"Yeah," Tony nodded, "What about it?"

Ziva took a deep breath, "Would you go and get the others? I think they need to hear this too." At least this way, she could get it over with. Lifting the burden of three years off of her chest seemed almost too good to be true, but at the same time the most frightening thing she'd ever done.

Tony's eyes shifted back and forth, "Okay...sure. Why?" he was obviously clueless still. She thought he'd already figured it out. Apparently not, "Why does your brother working at Armani require a big announcement? I mean, yeah, its kind of cool, but bragging has its limits."

Ziva took in that statement, confused beyond words. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Your brother," Tony grabbed a magazine from the rack on the wall, "Here, this is him, right? He does modeling for the Armani catalog." he showed her a picture of a model, who did in fact look very similar to her late brother

"No, Tony. That is not him," she sighed, "Please, Tony. There is something I have to get off my breast while I still have the energy to do so." okay, he didn't know as much as she'd thought. But they still had to know the truth.

"Chest. Get off your chest." he corrected automatically.

She rolled her eyes, "Please, Tony. Just go."

"Sorry," he squeezed her hand tightly, "Okay, I'll be back in a sec."

* * *

Tony stepped out, met by curious glances and inquiring eyes, "She wants to see you. All of you." he held the door open, "She didn't say why, but she seemed upset."

The group exchanged glances. Gibbs raised his eyebrows, "What did you say to her?"

Tony raised his hands defensively, "We got on the subject of her brother. I don't know, she's not really making sense." Gibbs knew exactly what was going on the moment he mentioned Ziva's brother. He too knew this day was coming, but didn't expect it to be today of all days.

Pushing past Tony, he walked in, mouthing, "_What are you doing? Why are you telling them now?"_ he normally didn't doubt her often, but he wanted to be sure that this was what she wanted. He promised himself that when this day came, he would stand by her.

She simply smiled, giving Gibbs all the answers he needed, "There is something important I have to tell you." she spoke softly while the others took their seats

"Oh, God." McGee groaned, "Please tell me you're not pregnant!" the last thing they needed was a hormonal assassin

"No!" she snapped, "Why would you think that- I do not want to know!" of all of the things they could be thinking at the moment, pregnancy? Unbelievable. Men: can't live with 'em...that's pretty much it.

Jen sat up on the bed, next to Ziva, "Are you sure you're okay? You seem a bit stressed. And well, stress probably isn't really a good idea for you right now. We can come back?" she offered kindly

"No," she felt tired, and wanted more than anything for this to be over, but she had to tell them first, "Do you remember Ari?" she asked, her voice quaking a little more than she wanted

"How could we forget?" Ducky sighed, "Horrible bastard..."

Ziva rubbed her hands nervously. This was harder than she'd thought it would be. How could she expect them to be so accepting of all of this? After Ari took away all that was good in their lives. Gibbs placed a hand on her shoulder, offering her silent support. She'd never been more grateful for anything, "He...he was my brother."

There was a moment of silence. She looked around at everyone, who was looking at everyone else. There was no yelling, screaming, or gunfire, so it was already going better than she'd expected. Abby finally broke the awkward silence, "Well, we already knew that!"

Ziva's eyes widened in shock, "You knew? For how long?" this was certainly not what she'd expected

"Well," McGee tried to mentally figure this out, "After Gibbs killed him, Ducky did the autopsy. From that, Abby ran his DNA, matching it to yours. So, about the time you joined the team."

"And, you did not tell me you knew because...?" she prompted. It would have simplified things exponentially if she'd known this earlier, "Why did you not tell me?"

"Probably because you knew already. I mean, you did know he was your brother, right?" Tony asked, "I guess you wouldn't be telling us something you didn't know." he amended, "Besides, we figured you'd want to try to deal with it...I don't know, however it is you cope?" they really didn't know that much about her then, or now for that matter.

Ziva sighed, lying back. This made things a bit easier to deal with. At least now she did not have to deal with their accusatory glares, scorn, and more questions than she could answer, "There is something else you should know; Gibbs did not kill Ari, I did."

There was another awkward pause, this one much shorter. Instead of one voice breaking the silence, a chorus of chaos erupted. A million questions being thrown out, and none being answered. She felt like her head was about to rip in half from agony, she wanted them all to just stop, and let her explain. Gibbs placed his hand back on her shoulder, barking to the room, "Hey! Shut it!" they all fell silent, "Her head's killing her, quiet down!" he ordered, much quieter now that he didn't have to shout over them all, "Ducky, go find her doctor. Have him bring her something; preferably something strong."

Ducky nodded, giving her a hug before leaving in search of a doctor, "I'm so sorry, dear. There's only so much that one person can be expected to go through. I think its safe to say you've had more than your share."

Jen got up and turned out the lights, trying to help ease Ziva's headache, "That help?" she asked hopefully

Her eyes were shut tightly, so it was hard to tell exactly what she'd done. Opening her eyes, she could see that the room was cloaked in darkness. While it didn't help, it didn't hurt either. "It is alright."

Gibbs sat on the bed beside her, watching with worry, "She killed Ari before he could kill me," he explained to the group for her, "The report was falsified so Hamas and Mossad wouldn't hunt her down and kill her for killing him. For some reason, they don't like it when the control officers do that."

Tony shook his head in disbelief, "I can't imagine."

"No," Ziva sighed through her tears, "You can't."

The doctor came in, checking her over briefly. He gave her some medication, telling her quietly, "This should help your headache. But if it doesn't, just hit the call button, and we'll try something else. Okay?" she nodded, dismissing him. She could already feel the effects of the drug going through her veins, taking away all sense of awareness.

"Aw, Ziva!" she cooed, "Come on, you need a hug!" Abby clung to her tightly, rocking her back and forth, "Why didn't you say something sooner? We'd all have stuck with you, you know we would!" Ziva sighed, knowing Abby was right. They would have been there for her, just as they were now. As they always would be.

"Abby," Jen gently pulled her off, "You're not helping." she could sense Ziva's discomfort, and knew the hug, while done with the best intentions, was hurting her. "Let go, and let her rest."


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Sorry for the long wait, I hope it was worth it. I think this is my longest chapter yet!

* * *

Ziva opened her eyes, noticing that everyone had left. Everyone except for Gibbs at least, he sat up in the chair at her bedside, sound asleep. She sat up, remembering last night's events. They'd taken the news much better than she'd expected.

"You awake yet, Ziva?" Gibbs asked, his eyes still shut, "Took ya long enough. The doc said you can go home as soon as you feel up to it." he wasn't sleeping, or at least he wouldn't admit that he had been.

"I am awake," she told him sleepily, "What did they give me?" though they had given her the drugs hours ago, she still felt drained and weak

"Nothing recently," he said, a bit worried, "You okay?" he felt her brow, "If you need to stay here another day or so, its okay. The doc said 'if' you're up to it."

"No, I have spent enough time in hospitals, Gibbs," she told him a bit too quickly, "Can I just go home?"

"You're not going home. You're staying at my place, remember?" he knew she would probably object, but at this point he didn't care; he'd come too close to loosing her too many times

She nodded, "Sorry. I forgot."

"You don't need to apologize. Its-"

"A sign of weakness. I know. Are you aware that there is a website that lists all your rules? You told me on my first day on your team that they were not written down, that it was your job to teach them to us. However one of the agents on another team has created a website: ? It lists all of them numerically. I have found it to be quite useful from time to time."

Gibbs raised his eyebrows. He knew damn well who'd created the website, and it wasn't an agent on another team. It was most likely a joint effort between Abby and McGee. "Really? Is there now?"

* * *

Gibbs pulled into a drive though, narrowly missing hitting the curb, "Hungry, Ziva?"

She clung to the armrest, trying to keep the inertia from flinging her into the window, "Not if you keep doing that!" if Gibbs' driving was scaring her of all people, what he was doing definitely wasn't legal. "You are going to kill someone one of these days, you do know this, yes?"

"Nah," he shrugged off her concern, "What do you want to eat?"

Ziva looked over the menu, the breakfast items in particular, "Is there bacon on everything?" nearly everything had bacon, ham or sausage on it. Some items looked like they had the whole pig on a bun.

"No, not quite," Gibbs looked it over, seeing her predicament, "There's coffee? I think that's kosher. You can just ask them to not put it on?" he suggested. He ordered, "Two of those breakfast sandwich ...things: one with bacon, one without."

"Would you like bacon on that?" came the voice of what he assumed to be a pimply faced teen, working the window, "We can add extra for another quarter?"

"No! Are you deaf? One with bacon, one without!" he repeated, a bit annoyed. How complicated was this?

"Do you want fries with that?" the teen offered

Gibbs rubbed at his temple, "No, I don't want fries with that! Who orders fries for breakfast?"

"Tony does." Ziva informed him, "He usually comes in every morning with breakfast in a bag, usually a burger, fries, or a donut. Its a small miracle he has not yet had a heart attack."

"Two sandwiches: one with bacon, one without. No fries, no extra bacon, just that!" he yelled at the speaker box, "Is that going to be a problem?"

"Please pull forward."

* * *

Having finally gotten their order, they headed for home. On the way, Ziva decided to get a head start on breakfast. She unwrapped one. Finding bacon on it, she put it back, taking the other. Unfortunately, this one too had bacon on it. "Gibbs, they got it wrong. There is bacon on both." she picked the strips off

"Just take it off," he sighed, "Could I have made it any clearer?"

They pulled into the driveway, just as Ziva was taking a bite, "They cooked bits of it into the egg." she said with disgust, "That is gross. How can you eat this?" even the smell of it made her sick, but the taste was horrific. "I think I am going to be sick." she ran to Gibbs' garbage can, sitting at the curb, and spat out the mouthful of sandwich

Gibbs patted her back, trying to help in case it came back up, "You're just not used to it. You've never eaten it before, so your gut can't handle it."

She put the lid back on the can, "I think it will stay down." she didn't have much confidence in that statement.

Gibbs grabbed her bags from the back seat. In spite of her protests, he insisted on carrying them for her. Putting an arm around her waist, he led her to the front door, "Guest room's across from the kitchen. There's a bathroom down the hall from that, and the living room is in the back." he showed her around, "You know where the basement is; if you need to find me, that's probably a good place to start."

Gibbs walked into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge, "If you want something else to eat, there's leftovers in here," he dug out some food that had been there for long enough, he wasn't quite sure what it was, "You might want to check it first though." he cautioned, throwing out an armload of food

"No, I am not very hungry," she hadn't eaten anything but a bite of that sandwich, but right now she couldn't force herself to eat.

She wandered into the living room, getting to know her new surroundings. She'd been to Gibbs' home several times, but she'd never taken the opportunity to look around and get to know the place. It was a lot cozier than she'd expected. His furniture was soft and inviting, looking a bit worn, but comfortable. On the mantle, there were dozens of framed photos.

She didn't expect Gibbs to have so many pictures. He seemed like the type to put the past behind him. Several of the pictures were of the team; most of them she recognized from Abby's phone. There was of course the hideous picture of Tony, posing with a mortified expression on his face. She laughed out loud, seeing it again. There were a few pictures of McGee, superglued to various things. Of course, the keyboard incident was immortalized on the mantle.

Gibbs came up behind her, startling her, "Gibbs! I was just looking..."

"You're allowed." he handed her a little plastic cup, filled with pink goo, "Drink that. It should settle your stomach."

She eyed it critically, "Do you know what this looks like? Tony forced me to watch this movie, I forget what it was called. There were these creatures called "cling ons"? They had blood that was bright pink. It looked exactly like this!"

"Its Pepto, not Klingon blood, Ziva," Gibbs chuckled a bit. It was a miracle she trusted anything anymore. Either because of experience or from all that Tony had put her through. "Its not that bad. Not that good, but not that bad."

She swallowed it, slowly and disdainfully. "I have had worse." she agreed

She went back to viewing the pictures, Gibbs watching over her shoulder. She found one picture that stood out; one of a little red-haired girl, riding a horse on a beach. The child's mother was seated behind her, holding her securely. The girl's expression was one of both terror and delight.

Turning around, she could see the glazed look in Gibbs' eyes, and she knew what it meant. "I am sorry. There is nothing more that I can say. Nothing that I say or do can bring them back." she knew that there was nothing more painful than the helplessness one feels after losing a loved one. What makes it worse is when people try to console you with empty words like, "its for the best" or "I know what you're going through" or worse yet, "It will get better".

Gibbs sighed, "I know. And thank you for not trying." it seemed like a strange thing to say, but sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all. He picked up the picture, "Do you like horses, Ziva?"

"Yes." she told him after a moment of though, "My uncle breeds Arabians. Every summer, my family would go and visit the farm for a few weeks."

* * *

"_Okay, Ziva!" her Uncle Hershel lifted her tiny frame, seating her on top of the tall black mare, "She is very sweet, and will not go too fast. Keep your legs around her, like this," he positioned her feet just right, "There, perfect!"_

_She could hear her brother laughing at her from below, "Ziva, that animal is a hundred times your weight!" Ari smirked at her, "Why don't you try something more your size? A goat perhaps?"_

_She bent over the side of the horse, grabbing her boot. Wriggling it free of her foot, she threw it at him. The shoe hit its mark, right between Ari's eyes, "Ah, leazazel!" he cursed, "You have a strong arm...for someone so small!"_

"_I am ten, Ari!" she snapped, "For your information, I am the right size for my age!"_

"_Now now, don't bicker!" their uncle chided. He put Ziva's shoe back on her foot, "Ziva, go ahead and squeeze your heels to her sides when you want her to move forward." she obeyed, setting the horse forward at a slow trot, "Good, good. Walk her around the coral, and bring her back here."_

_Ziva gripped the mare's mane tightly, not trusting her sense of balance as the horse began to gallop faster, "Uncle Hershel!" she cried, "How do I slow her down?!" she lay almost flat against the horse, gripping her around the neck. She could hear her brother's laughter, "Shut up, Ari!"_

_Her uncle jogged up, holding out his hands, "Easy, Ariella..." he soothed, slowing the horse to a stop, "Sorry, Ziva. She does not run like that often. It means she trusts you though, if she did not, she wouldn't have moved an inch."_

_Ari ran up to her laughing, "Uncle, uncle, help!" he mocked_

"_Shut up!" she slapped her brother, "I am not weak!"_

_He moved his hand to his cheek, "Obviously not. That hurt!"_

* * *

_Later that night, Ziva snuck out into the stables. "I am not a whimp!" she told herself, opening up one of the stalls. Samuel, her uncle's prized stallion was sleeping when she found him, "Wake up!" she nudged the horse, waking him up. Her uncle wouldn't even let Ari ride him. If this didn't prove that she was strong enough, nothing would._

_She sat up on the horse's back, not bothering with the saddle. She'd never ridden bareback, but she didn't imagine it would be that difficult. "Okay, come on!" she rode out slowly, getting a feel for the horse's pace, "See? This is not so hard!"_

_She took off a bit faster, riding out into the fenced off field. From behind her, she could hear her uncle's shouts, "Ziva?! What do you think you are doing? He is not tame, Ziva! You will get yourself killed!"_

_She ignored him,digging her heels into the stallion's side. The horse whinnied, standing on its hind legs, trying to throw her off, "Whoa, boy!" she tried to hold on, gripping her mane to help her stay on_

_In the distance, she heard a high pitched wailing. The air raid sirens were blaring again. The night sky was illuminated by the rockets, soaring overhead toward the cities. The horse bucked again, throwing her from his back._

* * *

"Let me guess," he smirked, "You found the biggest, fastest, most wild stallion he had, and tried to ride him?"

She had no idea how Gibbs was able to guess that, other than the fact that he was Gibbs, "Yes."

"And how did that work out?" he wasn't sure he wanted to know how that ended

"The air raid sirens terrified him, causing him to throw me from his back. I hit my head, and woke up in the hospital a week later." she told him, feeling stupid for doing that, even all these years later

"You hit your head?" she nodded, "That would explain a lot, David." she glared at him, reaching over and smacking the back of his head, "Hey! What was that for?"


	14. Chapter 14

AN: I know you've waited forever for this update, so hopefully it won't be a let down! Keep in mind, this fic focuses mostly on the past, a lot of which is unknown.

Warning: mature content, may be disturbing to some readers. Nothing graphic, but hardly innocent

* * *

"You need anything?" Gibbs offered, helping Ziva into bed, "Tea? Water? Bourbon?" that last one got a smile out of her, "Well, not bourbon. Ducky'd have my hide if I gave you alcohol with your meds."

Ziva nodded in agreement, "And I have had enough of hospitals, thank you." she pulled back the covers, slipping in quietly, "Thank you for all of your help, but it really isn't necessary."

"Yes, it is. You need to take it easy," Gibbs insisted,drawing the blankets up tightly around her. She jumped slightly, moving away from him, "What? Didn't your dad ever tuck you in at night?" the playful smile on his face soon disappeared, seeing the look of panic and rage in her eyes. He'd never seen her like this. For his own safety, he took a step back, "Ziva?"

* * *

"_Hannah!" Ziva pounded on her sister's door, demanding to be let in, "Open the door, I know you are in there, and I know you are awake!"_

_She could hear groaning from the other side as Hannah opened the door for her baby sister, "What?" she stepped back, letting Ziva in, "You're ten now, aren't you old enough to sleep alone in your own bed?" she knew she should be a little nicer to her, seeing as the past few weeks had been hard on all of them_

"_Aba is acting...very strange," Ziva sighed, sitting on her sister's bed, "He isn't talking right. His words are all kind of...mixed together. And he's bumping into things! Mossad officers are not clumsy; there's something wrong with him I think we need to call a doctor!_

_Hannah rubbed her eyes tiredly, "No, he isn't sick, Ziva." she sat down next to Ziva on the bed, "Look, Ima is gone. We can't change that," she wrapped her arms around her little sister, sensing the tears returning, "But Aba was married to her for fifteen years! That's a long time. Longer than you or I have been alive."_

"_So, he's just sad? But I'm sad too, and I am not crazy!" Ziva curled up against Hannah, trying to fight back tears again, which her sister kindly wiped away. _

"_He's just sad," Hannah confirmed,'and drunk' she mentally added, "Will you sleep in your own bed tonight? Be brave, for me and for Aba and Ima." she kissed Ziva's forehead, walking her back down the hall to her own room_

"_Still miss her, huh?" Ari had stepped out of his room, standing with his arms crossed in the doorway. He took pity on the poor girl, remembering his own mother's passing, "she's gone, but she's always in your heart," he gently picked up his sister, carrying her into her room and dropping her on her bed, "Now, go to sleep, okay? Laila tov, Ziva."_

* * *

_Laying awake, staring at the photo of her and her mother from her last birthday party, Ziva began to cry again. She knocked over the picture, not willing to look at it anymore. "Why did you have to die, Ima? We miss you, we need you!" she wailed_

"_Ziva?" she could hear her fathers voice as he pounded on her door, "Why are you crying?"_

_She got up off her bed and opened the door, "Sorry, Aba. I will be quieter." she knew he saw crying as a sign of weakness. Not once since her mother's passing had she seen him cry_

"_You look a lot like your mother, do you know that?" she stepped back a bit from him, not missing his slurred speech and wobbly stride._

"_Aba, it is okay to be sad, but you are scaring me," she had backed herself into a corner, her father standing between her and the door, "Please, just stop! I miss my Aba, I don't even know what you are, but you are not my Aba." she crouched down, whimpering as he came closer_

"_Yes I am," he chuckled, picking her up and setting her on her bed, "Who else would I be?" he kissed her cheek languidly, and she could smell his foul breath, laced heavily with the scent of alcohol_

"_I don't know..." she was getting more than a little frightened now, scooting away from him, "Please, I am tired and want to go to sleep!" she tried a different approach, hoping that he would leave her alone_

"_Ziva, don't be afraid of me," he pushed her back onto the bed, "I would never hurt you..." his hands wandered down to her stomach, starting to pull at her nightgown_

"_Ari!" Ziva screamed, trying to push her father away_

_Her brother burst into her room, holding a gun to their father's head, "Get away from her!" he kicked the older man in the side, sending him reeling across the room, away from Ziva, "You try to teach your children morals, and yet this is what you do to them?! You are not fit to be a father, and I am ashamed that you are mine! She is a child! She is _your_ child!" he continued to kick at his father, now laying in a drunken heap on the floor. Once he was fairly sure that their father couldn't get up, he turned to Ziva, softening his tone, "Ziva, go and find Hannah. Stay in her room until I come and find you."_

_Ziva starred at her father, laying motionless on her bedroom floor_

"_Ziva!" Ari shook her gently, "It is okay now, just go and find your sister. Tell her that I said to keep the door locked, and only open it for me, alright?" as their father began to rise to his feet, he spoke with more urgency, "Go, Ziva!"_

* * *

"_Ziva?" Ari called, knocking gently, "Hakol b'seder, you can come out now." _

_Hannah turned to Ziva, still obviously shaken, "It is okay, go unlock the door," she smiled, "If Aba were there, Ari wouldn't say it was safe."_

_Ziva nodded, unlocking the door and rushing into her brother's arms, "I want Ima back! He never did that before, the only thing that is different is that she is gone!" she tried to find some justification for this, but there was none. She looked up at her brother, noticing his split lip, "Are you okay?"_

"_Fine, fine. Just a little scratch. He's never done that before?" Ari asked, his fury simmering down a bit, "No? That is good. Did he hurt you?" he led her over to Hannah's bed, sitting her down, "Where did he touch you?"_

_Hannah pushed Ari aside, "Ari,if he did, she won't show you, you're a guy and you're her brother! Why don't you go and see if you can find her something to drink, she's pretty shaken up." Ari nodded, stepping out for a moment, "Where did he touch you?" she prodded gently_

"_He kissed me, but not like he has before," Ziva pointed to her cheek, "And he tried to take of my clothes."_

"_But he didn't hurt you?" Hannah breathed a sigh of relief, "Guess what? You can stay in with me tonight."_

* * *

"Easy there," Gibbs held out his hands defensively, "You said yourself, you don't want to deal with any more hospitals." he tried to make light of the situation, which could turn volatile at any second

Ziva's mind came back to present day. She blinked a few times, remembering where she was. Who she was. She wasn't some scared little girl anymore, and she wasn't helpless and naive. She was safe, resting at Gibbs' place...with a gun trained on Gibbs? She immediately dropped the Sig in her lap, "I am sorry, Gibbs. I did not...I do not know..."

He sat down beside her, concerned but relieved, "Its okay," he assured her, taking her weapon away, just to be safe, "Whatever I said or did to freak you out, I'm sorry, okay?" he felt under her pillow, finding a knife tucked away as well, "If I give these back, you gonna point them at me?"

She shook her head, "No. I would never shoot you, Gibbs."

"Well, you almost did," he checked her Sig, noting that it was loaded with the safety off. Worried, he handed her weapons back, "You sure you're okay, Ziva?"

"Yes," she insisted, "Just...painful memories." she explained, knowing that he of all people would understand how the demons of the past could haunt you, even years later

"If you say so," he began to leave but stopped in the doorway, "If you need anything or want to talk, you know where I'll be."

* * *

Gibbs stood in his kitchen, waiting for a fresh pot of coffee to brew. It was going to be a long night. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than Ziva was letting on. He wanted to help her, but right now, she wouldn't let him. Worried, he picked up the phone, waiting for an answer on the other line.

"_Jethro, please!" _Ducky groaned tiredly, "_Its late, and I'm hardly young anymore! Not that beauty rest will do a man such as myself any good..."_

"Eh, sorry Duck," Gibbs dismissively answered, "Hey, you know the number of a good therapist?"

"_Ah, yes, I knew it would come to this sooner or later," _Ducky chuckled, "_Finally coming to grips with your demons?"_

"Nah, my demons and I are in a good place right now," Gibbs smiled, "Not for me, for Ziva."

"_Ah,"_ Ducky shook his head, "_Not too surprising. She's been through quite a lot in such a short life. Might I ask though, why do you feel that she needs therapy now, or that she will respond to such a thing?"_ Ziva wasn't the type to admit she needed help, much less see a shrink. And trying to force her wouldn't end well for anyone

"Well, tonight she pointed a gun at me," Gibbs told him, "That tells me something's up."

"_Oh, dear. Is she alright? Seeing as you're calling from home, I'm guessing you're fine,"_he sighed tiredly, "_I told her that tomorrow I would come and check her stitches, and remove them if they're ready. I will speak to her then, and hopefully we can get somewhere. But there's only so much I can do tonight, Jethro."_ he felt about as helpless as Gibbs did now, wanting to do more than he could

"I know, Duck," Gibbs rubbed his temple in frustration, "I know."


End file.
